A Deeper Love

Well, this week seemed pretty much like a whirlwind. It started off with a two-hour delay, and ended with another one on Friday, which I didn't hate! Like I mentioned last time, I full-time taught this week. I picked up math and all the other little things. It's interesting how things go from day-to-day. Monday I came home from school on cloud nine because it was such a good day. My kiddos were pretty well-behaved and the lessons went great. Tuesday came around, however, and I realized that they were not where I thought they were with math.  I had to completely toss out the lessons I had written and come up with Plan B. That threw me! BUT, the Lord is good and gave me what I needed to redo and rethink things. Mrs. Meriweather really helped a lot as well. The next couple days after that we broke up into centers and the students who were struggling got extra help that was much needed!

These second graders have stolen my heart. Absolutely stolen it. My love and affection for them grow deeper every week. They are so cute and hilarious. The way children think it such a cool thing. They are such sweeties, even though sometimes I just get so frustrated I could bust.  I think that's a pretty common thing to feel when you're a teacher, though (phew!). I care so much about them-- how they perform in school,  how they treat each other, how they are treated at home, and how they are maturing. I'm so glad I still have three months with them...but saying goodbye is going to be such a sad thing. I just can't think about that now! I need to focus on this week and what's going to happen. Living in the now has been a struggle for me lately. I go back and forth with thinking about what's coming and what's happening now. I think that's pretty normal for where I'm at, too. On Friday, the kiddos were asking about how things work with Mrs. Meriweather and I working together. It was pretty funny. It's hard for them to understand that they have two teachers. I tried to explain it like I'm Mrs. Meriweather's sidekick, like Batman and Robin! They got a kick out of that one :) They ask the funniest and most awkward questions sometimes. One girl asked me why I wear a ring on my ring finger if I'm not married. Uhhh, how do you explain a purity ring to a second grader? I did my best :)

This year, I have been blown away by the grace of God in my life. It's so hard to explain. Growing up, I think I was always scared to take advantage of God's grace like I had seen  many people do, that I swung the other way. I got pretty caught up in MY actions--how I thought I could make others and the Lord approve of me and love me more. But...I can't make Him love me any more that He always has. I've always had His approval apart from anything I've done, am doing, or will do. His grace has shown up in many, many different ways. It's shown up in my relationships with my friends, in my student teaching, in my family, in my devotions, and how He is revealing Himself to me. He is just so cool. Even though sometimes I don't want to grow up, learning what He has been teaching me has been so sweet. I'm looking forward to learning even more! My love for Him grows deeper.


P.S. I know this is random, but I must include it. This past week, Millie Jane turned a year and half old. How is that possible?! Oh, how I miss that sweet baby girl!! I can't wait to see her and hold her again! Here are some pictures, because who doesn't love them? I sure do :)

Seasons

I was flipping through my planner today and realized that I'm getting down to only having 3 months left of college. My 11 weeks of being the full-time teacher starts tomorrow. Half of me is so excited that what I've been waiting and working for has gotten here...and the other half of me feels so inadequate and uncertain. What can I hold on to that IS certain? You got it. My Savior. He's going to be there when I have a great lesson and the kiddos make progress, and He'll be there when my lesson completely tanks and I get 20 blank stares (gulp). No matter what, it'll be fine. I need to remember that I'm NOT a teacher yet, and this is what student teaching is for! I'm growing and changing. I'm starting to think like a teacher and understand how things really work. If you think of it, pray for me tomorrow! :)

On another note, I had a GREAT weekend. A couple weeks ago, Mrs. Meriweather said to me, "I have something for you to do in a couple weekends. We're having an all women's PJ party at church, and Mrs. Carter and I want you to come with us!" So that's what I did! I hung out with my teachers on Friday night, and Hannah came with me! I cannot believe how much fun it was. We played games in which I witnessed Mrs. Carter and Mrs. Meriweather dancing like nobody's business (Oh, Han and I did, too!). I got to see my supervisor, who watches me teach, up on stage playing charades. Mrs. Meriweather even started a marshmallow throwing war that lasted a good 10 minutes. The women from their church were so welcoming to Hannah and I. Seeing some of the women in my life in a completely different context was so fun. Teachers are real people too, ya know?

Then last night some of my friends and I got together to celebrate Ryan and Maddie Ledbetter, who are done with Cedarville and will be leaving for Arizona next week as Ryan starts his spring training for baseball. We ate lots of food and played hilarious games. I haven't laughed so hard in a while! I have been very blessed with great friends during college. It's weird to think that within the next 6 months, I'll potentially be moving somewhere, trying to settle down, and meeting new friends. A new season will begin.

Being a senior is such an adventure! It's exciting and horrifying all at the same time. How can one girl handle so much change at once?! I know. With a God who goes before her and has everything in His hands. Today, I am thankful for the consistency of my Savior. I am thankful that He is always the same, no matter what life looks like, where I am, how I change, or what season I'm in. His character is perfect, His word is true, and His love is persistent. James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is not variation or shadow due to change." What a lovely reminder. EVERYTHING good is from Him. Not from myself, not from anyone or anything else. Just Him. Even though I so easily forget things like this, He is patient with this finite girl. Just like Psalm 103: 14 says, "He remembers our frame; he remembers that we are dust."

How great is our God?

Teacher or Student?

Hello, friends!


It's time for another post. One of the most interesting, yet best, things about student teaching is how much I'm LEARNING. My professors at Cedarville have always told us that teachers never stop learning, and that we should have teachable attitudes and spirits. MAN, am I realizing what they are talking about!

I have a group of students who are very different and have a few challenging needs. However, they LOVE coming to school, they LOVE learning, and they treat each other very well. I would take this group over a smart, yet unloving and disrespectful group any day! Even though it's frustrating at times, I am learning a lot about differentiation, accommodating my students, being an expert observer of my kiddos, and a lot about PATIENCE. I have learned that I will never have the perfect class. There will always be students who struggle to keep up. The important thing? Taking them from where they WERE, and getting them as far as they can go during my time with them. I am thankful for this challenge! And I am also thankful for the great group of teachers who are surrounding me and so willing to help me and answer my "rookie" questions. ;)

Want to know another exciting thing? I have a phone interview on Friday, and will be talking to another school about setting up an interview soon! 2 interviews already? How cool is my God?? How gracious is He?? I'm not going to say where they are or with which schools (just in case they don't work out;)) Those will be coming up soon!


Aside from teaching, I'm learning a lot about the different facets of my Savior, and how those apply to my weird phase that I'm in right now. I'm in a constant back-and-forth dialogue with myself about being okay with not knowing what my future holds, and being completely freaked out about not knowing. Growing up is such a strange thing! I want my desires to be what His are. I don't want to force anything, but I also realize that God gives us desires for a reason.


If you have any wise words for anything I've talked about, please comment or message me sometime! I love listening to people who have walked this road before me. I definitely know that I'm young and don't know everything. I want to be a sponge that is....teachable. ;)



Until next time!

The Semester of Lasts

Well, it has certainly been a long time since the last time I posted! I really kind of forgot all about this blog. However, I think I'm going to start it back up again because I want to keep track of my journey of my last semester at Cedarville, and my student teaching! For those who read this, now you can have updates on what's going on and can pray for me! I'll definitely need it.

Here is the background of my student teaching:

My spring semester last year I was placed at Cherry Hill Primary in a little town called Washington Court House about 40 minutes away from campus. I was placed with a second grade class and a teacher whose name is Mrs. Carter. We had such a great relationship! Not only did she share her class with me for a month, she taught me how to be a better teacher. She took me under her wing, as did the other women in our pod. Here's how Cherry Hill works: there are 8 second grade classrooms, and they are split in half. 4 teachers are considered one "pod," and the other 4 are another. The teachers in the pods work closely together and collaborate on a daily basis and have weekly meetings. The teachers who were in my pod last year are the same I am with now. Mrs. Meriweather, who is who I'm with currently, was right next door to Mrs. Carter and I. I got to know her pretty well, and she requested me for this year for my student teaching. How good is God?! So this summer, we were emailed and told that if we wanted to be placed somewhere specific for student teaching, we needed to let Cedarville know so they could start that process. Well, I may or may not have forgotten to do that. BUT, one day in July, I believe, I received an email from our placement lady that said I had been placed at Cherry Hill, in second grade, with Cyndi Meriweather. The Lord completely dropped it in my lap. I could get teary just thinking about it!


I was supposed to start my student teaching on Tuesday, but we had a snow day! I was kind of bummed, but also thankful because I really didn't sleep well Monday night. I've never been able to sleep very soundly the night before a new field experience starts. So it was a rather restless sleep. I was woken up around 5:45 am to my phone ringing. "Good morning, dear. This is Mrs. Meriweather. School is closed today!" My sweet mentor teacher called me. So no school! I used my extra day to pick up my roommate, Hannah, from the airport, clean out my desk, and just relax. Wednesday came, which brought a 2 hour delay. I could hardly contain my excitement as we (2 other Cedarville students are at Cherry Hill with me!) pulled into the parking lot. At about 11:00, the students started trickling in. It was SUCH a good day. I immediately started trying to memorize all the students' names and figure them out. Thursday we had ANOTHER snow day. I was pretty disappointed. It was hard getting all geared up for our first week, and then hardly be there! But I guess that we are being taught flexibility, which Mrs. Carter taught me is a HUGE part of being a teacher! Friday we had ANOTHER 2 hour delay, but at least I got to go! I have the students' names down, began planning for when I start teaching next week, and I got to do a read aloud with the kiddos!

I'm going to try to post here as much as possible for those who are wanting to keep up with my life at Cedarville and my student teaching! As things get busier...who knows that this will look like :) Hopefully once a week, at least.

I can't wait to see what the Lord teaches me this semester, and how He uses me! Please pray that I will be a willing vessel for Him, and that I am balanced with my life and that I don't get too stressed.

Until next time!

S E C O N D S E M E S T E R

WELL.


It sure has been a long time since I last posted, hasn't it?
I could go back and tell you everything that's happened since the last time, but it's been so long that I don't want to take the time to do that! Oh well :) Just know that I've been growing, learning more than I ever thought possible, and that I am enjoying this semester a million times more than the last!

Why? Here is a list of reasons:

1. My perspective has changed. Last semester I got VERY good at feeling sorry for myself, and wanting pity from other people because of how busy I was. How wrong of me! I've started keeping a journal and writing down everything good that happens in my day that I can be thankful for, starting from when I get up and ending when I'm laying in bed making the list. It has CHANGED me. It's amazing what choosing to focus on the good instead of dwelling on the bad does.

2. I'm taking one less credit, switching from 18 to 17.

3. I'm not in ANY gen. eds. Yippee!

4. I'm in Methods I, which means that I'm now accepted into the TEP (Teaching) program here at Cedarville, and I'm only taking 4 classes. 2 of those classes are with my favorite profs in the whole wide world, Dr. Sweigard and Mrs. Clark.

5. I'm with the same 25 other people in those classes, and I LOVE our group! We've become like one big family. They are wonderful people that love Jesus and love teaching.

6. Mine and Hannah's friendship just keeps growing. We've been through a lot together this semester, good and tough. We've held each other up, cried and laughed together, and have leaned on Jesus together when it seemed like no one else understood or felt the same way we did. We pushed each other toward Scripture and Jesus. Even though it was NOT fun, I am so thankful for that week because it changed us in a way.

7. I have NO boy drama. None. Zilch. Nada. I'm as free as a bird, and I am LOVING it! My eyes have been opened to how obsessed people at Cedarville are with relationships. It drives me bonkers. What happened to letting God work things out in His timing? What happened to being content with where He has us in our singleness? Now, that doesn't mean that I think guys should just wait until God drops some girl in their laps to pursue someone, and that girls shouldn't show some interest in a guy. I just mean that it's not something that COMPLETES people or fills up their voids. Being single doesn't take away any value from Who the Lord has made us to be. Single people can do so many things! People in relationships can do other things. Both are so different, and both are so wonderful. I just think people so easily forget that being single can be wonderful, too. I am currently experiencing how wonderful it is :) I'm not worried about finding a husband. I'll be ready when he comes, but I know that's not know. I'm completely content being single, but there's part of my heart that is so overjoyed to find this guy, to know what he's like, to be his loyal helper, and someday his wife. But until then, I'm riding S-O-L-O.

8. This semester is FLYYYYYYING by! It's crazy. How quickly is going makes me so excited for it to be done, but sad for it to be done at the same time. What a strange feeling!

9. I LOVE MY GIRLS. This semester is so much better in that I am used to being an RA. Living with each other is completely natural, and I have been getting closer to some of my girls. I went shopping with a couple of them last weekend and had a BLAST. They are such encouragement to my heart! They are great :)

10. I think what I like the most about this semester is the renewed and rekindled love for Scriptures I have in my heart. I went through a similar phase in high school about my junior year. It's not that I haven't loved Scripture in between that time and this one, it's just different. I LOVE reading it. I get excited to read it. I think that it's partially because of things I'm going through that just make it so alive. I think that it's also due to the fact that I got my first study Bible I've ever had. IT'S SO COOL. I simply love it. It's Dr. David Jeremiah's study Bible (that I found on Amazon for $34.00, by the way.) It has made such a difference!


Well, I need to get reading on some homework. I'll try to write more often from  now on!


Stand firm and take heart!

Homesick

home·sick

ˈhōmˌsik/

adjective

1. 1.

   experiencing a longing for one's home during a period of absence from it (google)

   
   

   
   

Do juniors in college still get homesick? Well...this girl does! I think I just feel the weight of my responsibilities as an RA, of all my 18 credits of class, of commitments to different groups, of maintaining my friendships, and of my personal struggles as well. While my heart is constantly blessed and encouraged by the people around me, being in the Word, and great chapels, the weight just never fully goes away. It probably won't fully be gone until Christmas break! But that's okay. This is only for a season, and God has me in this one for a reason.

Feeling this way, though, doesn't really help with the whole homesick thing. Sometimes I feel homesick more for the people in my life, like my family, Emily, Lexi, Jed and Jen, people at church, etc. And other times I just flat out miss Elkhart! I miss my bed, my room, the way my house smells, waking up in the fall with my windows open and what morning smells like. I miss eating dinner with my mom and dad and making Honey's runs with Em and Lex. I miss talking to my church family in the commons and worshiping with them and listening to Pastor Blodgett. I miss sitting on the couch in our family room.

BUT, Fall Break is just 2 weeks away from today. At this time next week, I'll be driving into Indianapolis to see Brett, Nick, Brinnie and MILLIE JANE!!!


As for now, I need to keep studying and reading. I'm so thankful for all my girls. I'm thankful for what they are teaching me and the ways they bless me without realizing it. I'm thankful for Hannah and what a great best friend she is to me! I love that we pray together every night and how wise and loving she is with me. I'm thanking for my friends here, girls and guys, who make me laugh and feel loved. I'm thankful for the adults in my life here, like Angie, Dr. Sweigard, Mrs. Clark, and others who can calm and refresh my heart.

You know, thinking about all the things I'm thankful for really calms me and eases the homesickness. When I fix my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of my faith, I'm at peace. I love Him for that.


Take heart! He has overcome the world!!

Junior Year

Well, it has definitely been a ridiculously long time since I last wrote! My life seems to be the busiest it's ever been. My life has been all about finding balance--with my relationship with the Lord, my units in Printy, my schoolwork, my friends, my alone time, my friends from home, H.Y.P.E. committee, KZP, intramural volleyball and my involvement in Apex. YEAH. It's a lot. 

However, juggling all of this is teaching me to depend on the Lord in a whole new way. A way that I never knew I needed. A way that constantly humbles me and reminds me how unworthy and inadequate I am without Him. It still blows my mind that God uses someone like me. 

Another thing that blows my mind is the friends that God has blessed me with. The second weekend here Emily and Lexi came and surprised me. 

Plus, I've been getting to spend a lot of time with Hannah, Karlee, and Laura, plus all my other girlfriends. That has been one of my favorite things about this year. I am so grateful to have women of God who encourage me spiritually, but that I also have a stinkin' fun time with. 

PLUS, I've gotten to hang out with my group of guy friends, too! Love these guys and my group of friends to pieces. I also love going to Bill's with them :)

Oh, and didI mention that I have loved getting to know my GIRLS?! While I'm still learning what it means to be a good RA, I've enjoyed what God has been teaching me through these lovely ladies. So excited to continue getting to know them better and to see what God has in store! 

Alrighty. I need to go to sleep. I am SO excited because Mom and Dad get here on Thursday! Ugh. I have missed my family a lot. I miss Millie Jane and my siblings. Having a close knit family is one of the best things in the whole world, but it makes being away from them really hard. But I'd rather have it this way than not being close with them :) 

Be strong and courageous in the Lord. Take heart, for He has OVERCOME the world.