'Tis the Season!

It's Christmas break!!!

If you couldn't tell already, I'm pretty excited!I cannot believe how quickly my third semester at Cedarville went. I have loved every moment I've been there...well, basically. Compared to last year, Sophomore year absolutely blows Freshman year out of the water. I've still gone through some challenging things, but not as painful and difficult. I think that this year, my issues are hard in a different way. This year I've prayed for so much wisdom and discernment concerning different situations. I've cried tears out of frustration and confusion, but none from sheer heartache. I am SO thankful for that! 

I think part of what has made this year so great is my roommate! Hannah is such a great woman of God. I don't think I could have asked for a better girl to live with. Not only is Han my roommate, but she's a best friend. We've prayed together, laughed our butts off with each other, comforted each other, given each other advice, etc. She has such a sensitive heart towards the things of the Lord and the Holy Spirit. I think we balance each other out pretty well, too (Wow, it sounds like I'm talking about a boyfriend! ha ha ha ha). But really, Han has made my year ten times better! 

Another group of people that I'm so thankful for is the volleyball team. I know that volleyball made my life pretty busy and crazy, but I wouldn't have had it any other way! I LOVE those girls. They became some of my best friends. They all love Jesus so much, and it translates into how they love each other. They did so well this season, ending 32-6. Studs, right? Mayra and I also got really close during the season. She is just such a genuine sweetheart. I learned a lot from Coach, too. Despite the fact that he's probably the biggest goober I've ever met, he taught us what being gospel-focused and prayer-focused meant. God blessed all that, too, and we saw Him working in such great way through the girls! 

Yet another group of people that I'm thankful for is my lovely group of friends! Last year, I didn't really have a group of friends that I completely settled into. I hung out with this group all the time, but I think I kept myself pretty guarded, due to everything that happened last year. I have so much fun with these people! The girls are all my best friends and so encouraging, and we have some pretty solid boys thrown in, too. My best nights at Cedarville this year have been spent with these crazies! 

Of course, I could talk about person upon person and post so many pictures of relationships that have developed this year, but that would take oh so long! God has blessed me BEYOND measure with people in my life that are so wonderful. 


But now, it's Christmas break and I'm back home in Elkhart. Man, I love being home! My time has consisted of sleeping, Insanity, hanging out with friends, especially miss Lexi Rhea, going to basketball games, helping Mommy, going to Indy, and making Christmas presents. I can't WAIT for Christmas! It's my favorite holiday for so many reasons. It celebrates the arrival of my Savior into this world, brings my family and friends together, SNOW CAMP is almost here, and I'm a sucker for Christmas lights. Brett, Brinnie, and Nick are getting here tomorrow. EMILY got home last night, AND it's finally supposed to snow a buttload in the next couple days! Can't wait :)

Break is Just so Close...

Wow! It's been a very long time since I've posted....I've just been so busy! My life is pretty much me balancing (well...trying) my relationship with the Lord, school, volleyball, and being social. Yikes! It's so hard! I want to do well in school, obviously. Actually better than well. But I also know that there is so much more to life at college than grades. When I figure out the perfect balance, I'll be sure to blog about it. I can't believe it's October already! And almost halfway through, at that! Fall break starts on Friday, well, Thursday for everyone else, but we have practice on Friday. Yay. I just can't wait to go home! I almost started crying today thinking about it actually, which is weird! I haven't been homesick much this year. I was just thinking about waking up on Saturday mornings to my mom doing her Bible study with her coffe and my dad coming in from outside wearing his hat to cover his bedhead and smelling like yard work. I love waking up in my own room. I love showering in my own shower. I love being at church with the body that I know. I miss driving on the back roads. I miss sitting in my kitchen. I miss laying on our couch. I just miss being in a house period! Soon enough! This week will go quickly. I have tests everyday starting tomorrow and ending on Tuesday. Wednesday is our last day of class since we'll be in Indy on Wednesday and then KY on Thursday! That will be fun.

I would just like to take a moment to say that I am so thankful that my life is so different than how it was last year! The Lord surely saw me through and it's only by His grace. I am SO thankful for all that He took me through even though it was the most painful time ever! I am so much more aware of ugly things in my heart. The Lord is still refining me. Ha, I'm pretty sure there will always be a need for that! I am just...happier than last year. Not as full of worry and anxiety, and I'm content. Praise Him!

Happy Sunday! Today is pretty much a perfect day. The weather is gorgeous, church was SO good, I went to lunch with all my best friends, and now I'm studying with Caroline and Han...well, I'm supposed to be studying ;)But hey, everyone needs a break to blog, right?


    So I'll start off with the weather. I LOVE FALL. It's my favorite season, hands down. I am so happy it's coming closer and closer! Today the temperature is in the 70's and all the clouds are those ones that are white and puffy on top and darker on the bottom. Ahhhh, I just can't get enough of it. I think now I'll post some pictures from Pinterest, just in case it wasn't clear how much I love Fall...or Autumn...or whatever you say :)

   Next, CHURCH. At home, I go to First Baptist, which I absolutely love! I've gone there my whole life and love the ministry. My pastor always lays out the truths of Scripture so plainly and simply. He's so great! While I'm here at Cedarville, though, I go to Apex. Rob Turner is the pastor there, along with other men. I attend the Xenia region, since it's so close to school. Today, I met Tami Stout, the volunteer coordinator there, and talked about the children's ministries there! I'll be working with the 1st-4th graders on Sunday mornings. I am so excited and am so thankful to finally be plugging into my church away from home. And what good practice it will be for becoming a teacher! It's going to be great. 

  Along with the children's ministry today, church was so good! The worship was incredible in my eyes. We sang a hymn called Rock of Ages, with an added refrain in there. It was so good. Hymns are like medicine to my soul. They're kind of like little treasures that I feel have gotten kind of lost in the more modern times. Part of that song said, "His righteousness is my identity." How crazy is that?! I am not a righteous person on my own, but because of JESUS, that's how my heavenly Father sees me.  And in the message, which Bob Thomson gave, he was in John 17 when Jesus is praying for His disciples. One of his points was that Jesus acknowledged their obedience, despite their failures and mistakes. I can't understand how such a holy God can look at His children and still be able to say, "I know you sin and aren't perfect, but I see that you're trying,and it pleases me." WHAT?! God, do you see my heart?! And you look at me and see righteousness?! Wow. 

   Well, I should probably work hard now. I finished Earth Science...but I have so much more to do! 

My life has been so busy! I love it though :).  This past weekend, the volleyball team had a tournament at IUP in Indiana, Pennsylvania. It took around 6 hours to get there, but being in a nice Buckeye bus with my two seats made it much better! The girls won all four of their games, and improved so much in just two days. They prayed with the teams they played against and also handed out New Testament Bibles to girls they had been praying for all week. It was so fun seeing them interacting with girls who need Jesus. Not only did they show Christ in that way, but they made two honor calls. The volleyball team agrees to make these calls, which pretty much just means that if a ref misses something and they know it should be the other team's point, they tell the ref themselves. It's so so cool to see the reactions of the people involved or watching. What a great testimony of Christ and integrity! I was so proud. So after winning all four games (and going to five all but one of those), we got back around 5:00am on Sunday morning. Hannah, Maddie and I did homework in the new pharmacy building all day an then finished off the night with She's the Man. 

Then today we had practice  at 8:30am and then walked in the Labor Day parade.... In the rain. It was still fun though! After that I got to Skype with Emily and then Nathaniel, which was so nice! 


I do love being busy... But when I am, it's so easy to push spending time with my Savior off to the side. Why do I do that!? He's the most important thing! I need to be better at being intentional. Everything's better when I spend time with Him!

Oh my goodness! It has been so incredibly long since I've blogged!

I am SO happy to say that so much has changed in my life since then. I think a theme of sadness and suffering was definitely evident in almost all of my posts. Not anymore!


Everything that I went through last year, the Lord has seen me through. Isn't He great!? He has definitely made a beautiful thing out of dust. After a summer of questioning, doubting, wrestling, worrying, and agonizing, He has shaped me and molded me. He has brought me out of a deep valley after almost a year. He is so good! I can't say it enough, and I really don't.


I've already started my sophomore year at Cedarville University, near Dayton, OH, and it's already so so great! I'm managing the for the volleyball team, bonding with my friends, meeting lots of new people, restoring friendships from last year, being challenged in my walk with the Lord, and loving my education classes! I cannot wait to see what the Lord does this year!

I don't have much time to type now, but I'll probably be blogging more again :) It's just fun.


Greater is He!

Dear Self...

Please remember that He is more than enough for you, even when it doesn't seem like it. 

Faithful.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about God is faithful. It's overwhelming, isn't it? How many times do I make mistakes, fail, say stupid things to or about someone, do things I shouldn't do or don't do things I should do? Way too many to count. His grace just blows my mind.

I have experienced His faithfulness in new ways while I've been at Cedarville. Being all by myself for the first time, I have learned a lot of things the hard way...but He's been right there the whole entire time. How has He been so patient with me?! Again....mind blown. I guess that's just one of those things I'll never be able to comprehend! 

On a different note, Easter break is quickly approaching! I go home on Wednesday right after Education Profession and I cannot wait. It's going to be so nice to go home and see everyone and go to First Baptist again :) 

As much as I'm excited to go home, I have finally started really liking school and being at CU. This is just another evidence of God's faithfulness to me. After everything that's happened, it's nice to say that I honestly am happy and am enjoying my time here. He has seen me through and refined me probably more than I realize....and I'm sure I have a LOT more to have refined in me...in fact, I know I do! This hymn just popped into my head. One of my favorites!

1. ’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to take Him at His Word;
   Just to rest upon His promise,
   And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
   • Refrain:
     Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
     How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
     Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
     Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
2. Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to trust His cleansing blood;
   And in simple faith to plunge me
   ’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
3. Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just from sin and self to cease;
   Just from Jesus simply taking
   Life and rest, and joy and peace.
4. I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
   Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
   And I know that Thou art with me,
   Wilt be with me to the end.

Oh, for grace to trust Him more! <3

What a Beautiful Day

It's supposed to be 84 degrees here today! Phew! And it's only March :)

So I am 19 now. I hope that this year is a pleasing one to my Lord and Savior. I hope that I can implement the things He has taught me since I've been at Cedarville into my life to glorify Him! Here's a picture from Florida that's a good one :) The famous Birthday hat...Bob, Carolyn, Mom and Dad made me wear it!

So today I go to tutoring! I can't wait. The kids at this school in Springfield need Jesus so so badly. The first time I went it took all my strength not to cry. I can't wait to go today and speak lovingly to them! They crave affirmation and love that no one in their lives really seem to give them.

This weekend, I'm going to Indy and staying with Brett and Brinnie. Nick will also be there. Mom and Dad will be there too! And guess who else?!

Alexandria Rhea Rambadt!

I can't wait!  I miss my best friend (and Emily, of course) so MUCH!

This is going to be a great weekend :)

The Hurt & The Healer

Well, I'm back from Florida...sigh. It was a good flight. I traveled for the first time by myself today! It was scary, but crucial to growing up, I suppose. I wish I were back in Tampa, but it was actually really nice here today at the 'Ville, about 70 in fact! Here are some pictures of my last night.

So, the title of today is different, eh? Well, on the way back from the airport I heard this WONDERFUL and appropriate song on K LOVE (equivalent to Pulse in Elkhart). It's a new one from MercyMe. This song is my life right now. Here are the lyrics!

"The Hurt & The Healer"

Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn’t come from the explained
Jesus please don’t let this go in vain
You’re all I have
All that remains

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am
What’s left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

It’s the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now”

I’m alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I’ve fallen into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide

Jesus come and break my fear
Awake my heart and take my tears
Find Your glory even here
When the hurt and the healer collide 

I have to go finish my speech. :( I turn 19 tomorrow! 

Hoy es el Dia

Well, I woke up early today because I have to work on a persuasive speech I have to give on...MONDAY. The day after I get back from Florida. Oh, and not to mention that Monday is my birthday! Happy Birthday to me, eh? Also, when I woke up, I opened my shades to see cloudiness. I am so sad! No sun on my last day. Maybe God had it be cloudy so I would be forced to work on my speech...fine. Oh well, He knows what I need.

I am very sad to be leaving Florida. I'm sad to be leaving my mom and dad. They are so wonderful and know me so well. I am so blessed to have my parents who speak truth into my life. On top of wonderful parents, I have amazing brothers. I got to talk to Nick the other night on the phone. He gave me such good advice and was so encouraging. I miss Brett, Nick, and Brinnan a lot. They live in Indianapolis/Carmel and I rarely get to see them. I think I'm going to go see them next weekend though! Maybe I'll be able to spend a night with Lexi at IWU as well! I think that would be SO much fun!

I miss my friends from home a lot. I did get to skype Em and text Lexi for a while yesterday...it's just not the same (obviously). I can't wait for the summer when I can hang out with them all the time! It's going to be an interesting summer, though...

For the first time in a long time, almost all of my friends and I don't have boyfriends. It's been really hard for all of us at one time or another, but I really think that this summer could be SO fun. What a good time to encourage each other and to learn to be content exactly where the Lord has us. I'm dreading it...but looking forward to it, too!

I need to go work on my speech... blah.

I forgot :)

Oh! Also! I'm in Florida. God is so perfect in His timing. He knew I needed this! I am in St. Petersburg, which is right outside Tampa Bay. I love spending time with Mom and Dad. Bob and Carolyn LeMaster have been letting us stay with them. They have been so fun and hospitable!

 We got to go see a Yankees spring training game!

Hello, Derek Jeter! 

 This is our view from our balcony.

 My breakfast every morning. I love Francine Rivers!

I go back to school on Sunday :( Sad day.

In The Fire

You know those hard times when it seems like you can't breathe? The times where it seems like God completely takes everything away from you? The times where you feel like you're falling and there's nothing to reach out and grab to stop your fall? That's how I've felt for the last five months of my life. One thing after another. So many of my tears have been shed. So many meals skipped or barely touched because of my lack of appetite. So many anxious thoughts. So many unanswered questions. I feel like David in Psalm 42. I LOVE David. He is so transparent. He talks in this chapter about how his soul is so downcast and disturbed. This is how he answers his own questions: 


"Why, my soul, are you downcast? 
   Why so disturbed within me? 
Put your hope in God, 
   for I will yet praise him, 
   my Savior and my God."


Oh, this has to be my prayer! I have nowhere else to turn. People only disappoint and let me down. Even the ones I love the most and thought I knew. How do people change so much? I guess that's one of the questions God only knows the answer to right now for me. I am so glad that God doesn't change. That reminds me of James 1:17


"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."




This verse has always been one of my favorites. I'm so so thankful that my Father is consistent in all His ways. 


In spite of this hard time, I've learned so many things, especially things in me that are so ugly. I've learned that:


1. I am full of pride
2. I am very indecisive with big, life decisions. 
3. I cry...a LOT.
4. Sometimes I hold other people to standards that I don't even hold myself to.
5. I am not very patient and understanding.
6. Having a renewed mind is VERY difficult.
7. When I'm working through problems, I talk to way too many people about it. Sometimes I seek advice too much.
8. I think that my "thorn" in my side is anxiousness and worry.
9. When things get hard, I get very inward-focused.
10. I think, to a certain extent, I took my friends from home for granted. I miss them so much.


Wow. I have a lot to work on! I'm so glad that the Lord is showing me all this now instead of later. He's refining me. (And boy, do I have a lot to be refined!) I'm in the fire. But, just like Job said, 


"But he knows the way that I take;
   when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold." 


Oh, how I long to come forth as gold! I can't wait to come out the other side of this trial full of heartache and suffering, and to see all the Lord has shown me and made beautiful. 


He makes beautiful things out of dust!