Worth the Wait

If you had a glimpse of what my life has been like for the past several months, you would understand why I haven't' written in such a long time. My life has never changed so much in such a short time period like it has in 2017. And yet, in the past 6 months, I really feel like there has been a LOT of waiting that has taken place. Out of that waiting came good and bad things...the good being how the Lord has worked everything out, and the bad things being the attitudes that were revealed in my heart. I'll try to catch you up on what's been going on in a concise way so that you aren't sitting at your computer or on your phone reading all morning. :)


I knew that I was going to marry Jonathan around Thanksgiving this past year. I have NEVER been so confident about anything or anyone in my whole life (aside from the person of Jesus Christ, of course). Jonathan is the most precious gift that the Lord has graciously brought into my life. Our relationship has been so FUN and FULL. You know how people use the picture of two people running side-by-side in our race here on earth? Whenever I think about that, I picture Jonathan always being slightly in front of me or running a little faster than I am--encouraging me to keep pushing and leading the way for me. Jonathan makes me want to run faster and more faithfully. He motivates me and brings out the best in me. While our relationship has been amazingly wonderful, it's not perfect, and no relationship ever will be. But in those moments where things are hard, there is miscommunication, or one of us responds in a way that we shouldn't, there is always resolution and grace. I simply can't get over Jonathan--his heart for Jesus Christ and the gospel, his love for others, his steadiness and authenticity, his teachable spirit, how he makes me laugh (even if he's telling lame jokes), his gentleness and understanding towards me, his love for discipleship, his desire to honor the Lord and be a faithful servant, his leadership....and come on, THOSE EYES. ;)

I've had lots of people ask, "So was it worth the wait?" I don't think I could say, "Yes!" any quicker. Jonathan is worth every failed attempt, every heartbreak, and every tear cried in the midst of the waiting. Not only is he worth it, but he's more than I EVER thought my husband would be. I have been praying for and writing letters to my future husband ever since I was 16 years old. Now I know, without a doubt, that Jonathan is who the Lord knew I would end up with before I was even born. The Lord has worked so clearly in both of our hearts, even before we knew each other and started dating. Sometimes I actually think my heart is going to explode with how much love for Jonathan is in it...but I'm glad that it isn't possible for that to happen. ;) Jonathan proposed to me on April 4th while we were down in North Carolina with my family. It was so personal and special, even though I was wearing sweatpants and had no makeup on!

So was the wait for my husband worth it? YES.

The Lord always knows best. His plan is PERFECT and so much better than anything we can think of ourselves. He's not playing games with us. Jesus Christ is our good and perfect Shepherd. He cares. He's present. He's active. Waiting for His plan instead of ours is ALWAYS worth it. Is it easy and comfortable? Oh goodness, no. But if everything were easy, we wouldn't grow and be stretched like He wants us to be. The more we are refined, but more we become like Jesus Christ. That's the goal! What greater privilege is there than to become more like Jesus?

By the time January rolled around, the idea of moving down to Lafayette started to become a reality and goal. Jonathan has 2 more years of his seminary program and internship. But wait. Moving means leaving home, my family, friends, church family, co-workers and students at Orchard View, and everything I've known my whole life. And while the thought of moving on from all these things saddened my heart, the thought of being Jonathan's wife excites me more than anything else. So Jonathan and our parents started praying. I started praying very specifically--more specifically than I have ever in my entire life. Jonathan was so encouraging in this and made the process of trusting the Lord and approaching Him so much easier. Here's what I started praying for:

1. That the Lord would make it clear if this was His plan
2. That I would get a teaching job in Lafayette
3. That I would teach at a public school
4. That I would get to teach kindergarten or first grade
5. That I would have a job BEFORE the end of the school year
6. That I would find a place to live
7. And that the Lord would work out all these details for Jonathan and I that were so unclear and unanswered.


Long story short, I had one interview in April and one in May. I interviewed at Klondike Elementary in West Lafayette on May 2nd, and was offered the job on May 9th. I will be teaching kindergarten at one of the biggest elementary schools in the state! I have heard nothing but GREAT things about it, and my kindergarten team has been SO welcoming, helpful and kind! I'm so excited to teach there, but my heart is also sad because I loved OVE. It was the perfect place for me to start my teaching career. There was a LOT riding on finding a job. I couldn't really move to Lafayette until I had one, and having a job was a huge step in the right direction in my relationship with Jonathan. There were a LOT of days that I didn't see how things were going to work out. I admittedly was very anxious and worried about the whole situation, which was very wrong of me. How could I doubt God? He's ALWAYS provided for me, even if it's not what I expected. He was so faithful even in the midst of my worry.

Was the wait to find a job worth it? Yes. 

The next big decision was the timing of moving and how this was all going to work. When was I leaving? Where would I live? How is this going to work? Can I afford to move before I start teaching? Questions. What ifs. I'm a PRO at those...and that really isn't a good thing. Well, after Jonathan and I got engaged, his overseeing pastor and his wife, Brent and Janet Aucoin, offered to let me live with them until I found somewhere to live or until Jonathan and I got married. It was a HUGE blessing to my heart. Not only did they offer me a place to stay, but I LOVE their family and was so excited to get to spend more time with them. We looked at a lot of places. Some days I went to sleep discouraged about the details and wondering if we would ever find the right place...it was a longer process than I would have liked, but the Lord had things for Jonathan and I to learn in the midst of that. Another long story short, our plans changed, and I'll be moving into an apartment in July--that's right, I'm moving in 2 weeks!! Jonathan and I prayed that the Lord would provide a place in HIS timing that will be just right for us after we get married. I prayed that the Lord would lead us to a place that Jonathan and I would look forward to coming home to after a long day of ministry and school, a place that I would be safe living in by myself until Jonathan and I get married, and a great place for a great price. Once again, the Lord so GRACIOUSLY has provided that for us. We were both so confident, at peace, and on the same page with where we will be. 

Was the wait to find a place to live worth it? Yes.

So as I sit here, typing up these words, all I can do is be in awe of the Lord's goodness and kindness to me. I do NOT deserve any of the things God has placed in my life. I am the worst of sinners and so often feel the weight of my depraved heart apart from Christ. Salvation alone would have been enough. But not only did Jesus Christ save me from my sin and death that I deserve, He pursues a personal relationship with me. The God of the universe, who holds everything together, who created everything, who is all-knowing, all-powerful and always present wants my heart. He knew me before time, knit me together in my mom's womb, knows how many hairs are on my head, and knows every tear I've cried. He knows my strengths and weaknesses, and every flaw, yet loves me anyways. He knows the best and worst about me and still calls me His beloved daughter. He wants your heart, too, you know. He knows you better than you know yourself. He wants you to have a FULL life that is FREE and ABUNDANT (John 8:32). If you don't know Jesus, just know that He's MORE than WORTH it. In Him we have purpose, life, joy, peace, and love. 

Following Him isn't always easy or comfortable, but is following Jesus Christ, our Good Shepherd worth it? YES. 

So what's next? 

1. I'm moving to Lafayette in the middle of July, after Nick and Lauren's baby comes, hopefully! Emerson Grace is due July 11th! 

2. School starts on August 16th, and my journey at Klondike will begin!

3. Jonathan and I are getting married at FBC on December 9th, 2017. Wedding plans are coming along just fine. :) All the big decisions are made, I have a dress, and now the little details are what we're working on. 

How can you be praying?

1. For Jonathan as he is in Albania with the youth group at Faith Church (where he's interning) for the next 14 days. Pray for his safety and that the Lord would use their group to further Christ's Kingdom!

2. That I would use the next 2 weeks wisely and find the time to spend time with people here before I leave. I need to pack, clean, and get things ready, but I also want to cherish my days in Elkhart before I go.

3. That the Lord would continue to prepare Jonathan and I for marriage and that we would keep Him at the center of our relationship as things will start to pick up starting in August. I will be busy with teaching at a new place, and he'll be busy with his schoolwork. It's easy for the 2 of us to get bogged down with everything on our plates, but we know that the Lord will enable us and strengthen us to get all the things done that we need to! 

I hope this not only tells you about what's been going on in my life, but that it reflects and boasts of who God is. None of this is about me. It's all FOR and ABOUT Him. I am simply humbled by the fact that He wants me to be apart of His story...and now I'll get to do that with Jonathan. ;) What an honor!

Hope and Faithfulness -- Part 2.

Yes, yes--I know that it has been FOREVER since I have posted anything on my blog. In my defense, though, a lot has happened and a lot has changed in my life! So I've been a little busy, as you can imagine. I'll give you a little synopsis of the past several months before I jump into what the Lord has been teaching me.


First of all, my last post was in July before the hectic "back-to-school" season of my life started. At the beginning of August I moved out of my mom and dad's house and into my first apartment! I was so excited. A lady at my church mentioned that another kindergarten teacher in my SAME district was looking for a roommate. I was amazed at how perfectly the Lord brought this opportunity into my life! I love having a place to call my own (well, partially!), that I can take care of and retreat to after a day of school and other things. Plus, I have gained another godly friend in my roommate--which is always a lovely bonus!

Next, my second year of teaching kindergarten started. By God's goodness and grace I felt much more relaxed and confident going into this year. I have a WONDERFUL class that came along with wonderful families! It has been so fun. Of course, some days are harder than others, and my kiddos aren't perfect, but I love them so much. They teach me new things all the time and make me laugh. They are so eager to learn and are making a lot of progress. January is such a fun phase of the school year because you can see a big difference in them. It makes me happy and sad all at the same time! This school year is going so quickly--it's crazy!

Thirdly (and perhaps my most favorite part of this whole blog post), I started dating my boyfriend, Jonathan. I'll try to answer as many questions that you may have in a concise way! Jonathan went to Clarks Summit University (formerly known as BBC) in Clarks Summit, PA. He's also from PA, about 3 hours away from CSU, and that's where his family lives. My best friend, Emily, and some of my other good friends, also went to college there, and that's how I found out who Jonathan was. So we have known OF each other for a while. We became friends on Facebook and started following each other on Instagram (social media....I know....but hey, it works out sometimes, right?? ;)) about a year-ish ago. Back in the spring, Jonathan posted about moving to Lafayette, IN to start a 3-year internship and seminary program. When I found this out, I couldn't help but feel interested in this boy. "I wouldn't hate it if somehow we ended up meeting each other..." I thought to myself. Long story short, that's what ended up happening. We started talking on Facebook (okay, I messaged him first...which, if you know me, is not something I would usually do!) and about a week and half later, he asked me to meet halfway between us to get coffee. We've talked every day ever since then. So now you know a little bit about the handsome boy that has been showing up in many of my pictures. Jonathan is one of the most godly men I have ever met. His desire to please the Lord is so evident and it challenges me all the time! Seriously, he's my favorite. On top of how wonderful he is, his family is so great, too. I got to go out to their house for a combination of Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I had a BLAST. Jonathan makes having a boyfriend, and pretty much just life in general, so much fun. The Lord has blessed me beyond measure with that boy!


The last time I wrote, the title of my post was Hope and Faithfulness. As I sat and tried to think of a title for this post, I really couldn't think of anything better than that! Ever since this school year started, I have been overwhelmed with the Lord's faithfulness in my life. I think this is mostly due to the Bible study I started doing this year. I joined BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) back in September. For those who aren't familiar with it...it's an international organization. The study goes through one book of the Bible from September to May. It is STRAIGHT UP Scripture, which has been so good for me! Up to this point, I had been doing a lot of book studies that were topical (these are NOT bad things--I just started to ask myself if I was relying too much on others' experiences and opinion instead of Scripture). My soul just started to hunger for His Word. I can honestly tell you that it's one of the best decisions I have ever made! I LOVE it. I look forward to meeting with my group on Monday evenings and then getting a new set of questions & notes to pour into over the next week. This year, we are going through the book of John. I have learned so much about God, Jesus, and His Spirit like I never have before. Learning about Jesus in this way has deepened my love for Him and my knowledge of His character. It has convicted my heart in new ways and I am constantly being challenged by it. More times than ever before, I finish my time with the Lord with such a FULL heart. I am experiencing a DEEP love and appreciation for the Word of God. It is SUCH a gift!

How often, though, do we neglect it? How often do we go to our own solutions and advice of others rather than the PERFECT and INERRANT words of our Creator? Is it a priority? Is it a joy to read and study? Or is it read just to make you feel better and get someone off your case? Oh, how precious is His Word. It is so valuable and relevant. I remember over Christmas break, I was sitting with Jonathan and talking to him about all this. Haha, I was going on and ON about how amazing it is that God gave us His very words and that it NEVER gets old and that we can read it EVERY DAY and always learn something. But isn't that amazing!? I hope I never get over it. I am so thankful for the guidance, comfort, knowledge, and truth that I receive through the Bible. Is it always easy and convenient to spend a good chunk of time in His Word? No. Is it always worth it? Yes. Absolutely yes.


As I sit and think more about the word "faithful," the more I want to kind of make it my word for 2017 (this was an idea given to me by my lovely roommate). Not only does this word remind me of one of my favorite characteristics of my Savior, but it also challenges me to be faithful in the things I am and am involved in. Most importantly, I want to be a faithful follower of Christ that pursues Him with all that I am. I want to be faithful in prayer and digging into His truth. I want to serve Him and those that He has put in my life, and I long to be more like Jesus at the end of this year. I want to be a faithful daughter/sister/aunt-- extending grace and patience to every member of my family, being a prayer warrior on their behalf. I want to be a faithful girlfriend to Jonathan--encouraging him in his studies and all the ministries he's involved in. I want to be a listening ear when he needs it and to be selfless as I continue to learn how to be a godly girlfriend. I want to be a faithful teacher who is committed to her students--showing them compassion, and teaching with my WHOLE heart. I want to be faithful friend who is intentional about spending time with the women the Lord has graciously given me. I want to put down my phone and be all there, listening to their words and understanding their hearts. I want to be a faithful small group leader--leading my girls in a way that is pleasing to God and in a way that makes them feel loved and valued. I also desire to be faithful in the small things, too-- being a good steward of my time, working out and taking care of the body the Lord has given me, keeping up with cleaning at my apartment and also staying organized!

I love the fresh start of a new year. I am excited to experience everything that's going to be going on in 2017. I will turn 24 years old in March. I will finish my second school year. I will be welcoming a new niece/nephew into the world in July, thanks to Nick and Lauren ;). Who knows what else will happen? I am confident, because I KNOW who knows what will happen. Because of this, I can rest in the fact that my God holds this new year, and that He will be faithful no matter what it looks like and no matter what happens. My God has never given me a reason to doubt Him. His ways are perfect, and so is His timing. For all these things, I am thankful...I can't wait to experience His faithfulness all the more.

Hope and Faithfulness

One of my favorite things to do is write my prayers down into a journal. I've been doing this since middle school. It started off as just keeping a diary, but somewhere in there, it turned into talking to the Lord in the midst of my writing. What I love even more than writing these prayers down and talking to Jesus (Which I mean, come on, getting to talk to the King of the Universe whenever I want? It's a huge deal. Don't ever let yourself get over that), is READING the prayers from the past. I have a few journals from college that I'll go back to every now and then and read. When these journals are read, when the tear-stained pages are opened back up, I see the Lord's FAITHFULNESS. Oh, it does something to my heart like nothing else does. Writing things down helps me to remember what was going on at that time, and I can see how the Lord has worked since then.

I tell you this because it's what I was doing this morning. After I got finished with praying today, I decided to look back on this time last year. And I wish I could tell you that I'm miles ahead of where I was last year and not struggling with the same stuff...but you know what I found? I wrote about the same things last July that I wrote about this morning. At first I thought, "Psh, wow, Ali. Way to go. You haven't grown at all." But the more I thought about it, and the more I flipped through the pages in between July 2015 and July 2016, I realized something: Even though I may have the same struggles as I did before, HE REMAINS FAITHFUL. I have made progress through His Spirit. The Lord does not "give up" on those who truly know Him. He is a God of second chances...more chances than any of us deserve. He doesn't say,"Well, you've been struggling with this sin or this issue for about a year now...so, I don't know how to help you any more." God is SO different than humans are. His patience abounds. He deals so graciously with a people who are very undeserving. (If you think you deserve God's patience, love, and grace, think again.) So I continued reading in my journal I've had since April of 2015. Memories, good and bad, began to flood my head--graduating from Cedarville, personal victories, personal failures, loved ones getting cancer, saying goodbyes, meeting new people, getting a job, vacations, situations with boys, my brother getting married, my second niece being born, hardships for my dad with work, Amanda Blackburn passing away, Hannah getting married, finishing my first year of teaching, ETC. Is it not crazy how your life changes? Sometimes it's quickly, and sometimes it's a slow-moving progression. Amidst the prayers I pray, I also write down Scripture that means a lot to me or quotes that stick out. I came across a page from September 9th, 2015. On it I had written out Ecclesiastes 3:1-15. I began to read the words and just started crying. My heart was overwhelmed with the Lord's goodness and His sovereignty. Here is what it says,

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.  I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.

I perceived that whatever God does ENDURES forever; NOTHING can be added to it, nor ANYTHING taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away."

I don't know what it was about this passage, but I couldn't help the tears. It comforted my soul beyond belief, especially with everything that's been going on in the world the past few weeks (Am I right??). Things are getting crazy, people. The outcomes are unsure. Some are turning to violence. Some are putting their hope in a candidate. Some are losing hope altogether. Oh, friends, do not lose hope!! Scripture tells us that all these things are going to happen. It tells us that life is not easy. But it also offers us HOPE and PEACE in Jesus Christ. If you have accepted Christ and made Him the Lord of your life, you have access to this hope and peace 24/7! He is your strength and your confidence!! You can trust Him. You can trust that "whatever God does endures forever." We don't have to live this life in fear and insecurity. Our father is SO GOOD, even if our definition of "good" is different than His. He knows undoubtedly what is best.

And if you don't know Him and are reading this today, will you please think about everything I'm saying? And by "know Him," I don't just mean knowing ABOUT Jesus. I mean having a relationship with Him, living in accordance with His Word, and seeking His face with ALL your heart. Will you evaluate your life and what your hope is placed in? My greatest desire, and our heavenly Father's, too, is that you come to know Him.

I feel like this post is a little all over the place, and for that, I apologize. I just was overtaken by the feeling that I needed to share. Over the past couple weeks, there have been multiple times that I have started writing, and it just doesn't come. I couldn't think of anything worthwhile. I hope you find this worthwhile. I hope that in the midst of everything you are going through, whether it's good or bad, in want or content, in pain or in happiness, that you look to Christ to be your hope; that you find your confidence in HIM, and can look at the things going on and take comfort in His name. He is our SHIELD. He is our STRENGTH. He is our COMFORT. He is TRUTH.

A Word for the Weary

I just started a new Bible study. I lead a study with teenage girls in my youth group at church, and have been on a hunt for the right study for the past couple months. Through a series of people and events, I came across the book Looking for Lovely by Annie Downs. So far, I have REALLY enjoyed it. As the study has started off, she has talked a lot about trials and how life is not easy. Annie talks about finding peace in the midst of rocky situations and chaotic trials. "Perseverance develops character, and character produces hope..." (Romans 5:4).

I'm currently up in Spring Lake, Michigan spending the weekend with my mom's side of family. We are up here in honor of my cousin, Tyler, who is being deployed in June to serve our country for 9 months. It has been so much fun to see everyone, exchange hilarious stories, play games, catch up on what's been going on in each other's lives, and be entertained by my two nieces, Millie and Nora. In the midst of the busy weekend, I found a little pocket of time for myself to go on a run. It was a CHILLY, yet beautiful, run. I felt the sun on my face. I saw the vibrant colors of the flowers. I heard the birds chirping and the sound of the wind in the trees. When you're out in the world that God made, it's awesome how the things and worries of life just kinda...go away. All the assessments that I still have to do with my kiddos can wait. All of the things that make my heart heavy seem to be lifted. I started praying. I started thinking. Do you know where my mind went to?

Politics.

This is interesting, because, although I am informed and I really actually do care, I don't share my opinions often and I don't talk about it too much. I don't talk about it much because it gets people so worked up sometimes, and maybe partially because it makes me sad. But, I mean, it's everywhere! Even my kindergarteners brought it up the other day! One of my kiddos asked, "Miss Bigler? Why does *insert one of the candidates' names here* lie?"  I keep thinking about all the changes that are being made, and about the election coming up. To be honest, I'm not happy about it. I'm concerned about the direction that our country is heading. I worry about what the world is going to be like when Millie and Nora (my two little nieces) grow up. I worry about what things will be like when, Lord-willing, I'm a wife and mommy someday. I worry about the legislation that is going to be affecting the education world in the future. I worry about the economy. I worry about the potential persecution of Christians and our values. All of a sudden three things occurred to me:

1. I used the word "worry" an awful lot in those thoughts.
2. I used the word "I" and awful lots in those thoughts, as well.
3. My hope feels like it's getting..lost.

As I'm running in the sunlight and taking in the beauty of creation, my heart is convicted. "Alison, weren't you JUST thanking Jesus for all the beauty you're seeing?! How did your mind so quickly go from that to this?!" All the times that Jesus promises that HE will win start flooding my mind. My heart feels guilty about getting worried and subconsciously getting sucked into putting my hope in a person instead of Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). The words of Jesus that He spoke to His disciples before He was killed on the cross washed over my heart (John 16:33)--

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”


I realized that this verse applies to so much more than politics. Brothers and sisters, our hope is not in a president, spouse, friend, parent, child, job, number on the scale, retirement, status, etc. It is solely found in the person and strength of Jesus Christ. If we look for it in anything else besides Him, we will be sorely disappointed. We will be unsatisfied. Oh, we may be temporarily filled or distracted, but nothing else lasts. We were made for Him--to serve, love, glorify, and have a REAL relationship with Him. I'm talking about a relationship that's more than just praying every now and then and going to church sometimes. I'm talking about a relationship in which we make Him our LORD & SAVIOR, and live in obedience to Him, reading His Word and seeking His face. Satan would love nothing more than to get Christ-followers to the point where all hope seems lost and we give up. Paul tells us not to "grow weary in doing good (Galatians 6:9-10). Why do Jesus and Paul tell us not to lose heart and grow weary? Because they knew and understood that life is HARD! Even for the Christian. Jesus was lowly in earthly status, betrayed, spit on, beaten, publicly attacked, accused, and crucified. Paul had an ugly past before giving his life to Christ, was shipwrecked, beaten, imprisoned, bitten by a snake, and dealt with some sinful situations in different churches. Call me crazy, but none of those things sound very easy or cushy to me. They got it. Things weren't perfect for them. Things aren't perfect for us. Jesus told us this would happen. We are told that things are going to start getting hard as time goes on.

My thoughts continued. I don't think that Jesus calls us to dwell on being angry, worried, bitter, or disheartened by any of the things in our lives that are tough. Now, I'm not saying that it's wrong to feel those things or be concerned. We can't help the thoughts that come into our heads or the feelings that are in our hearts. However, I do believe that the Bible teaches us to TRUST Him. I believe that He calls us to be steadfast and joyful in the midst of our circumstances. After all, do you really think that people are going to be attracted to people who are complaining, being negative, and worrying all the time? I don't. I think people are attracted to those who are peaceful, confident, and joyful. Those who can be vulnerable and honest about where they're at, but who can also say, "My hope is in the King. Therefore, I will not be shaken." The Lord calls us to honor and glorify Him in all our decisions and how we react.

He's WITH us.
He's FOR us.
He is a promise-keeper.
He is FAITHFUL.
He's IN CONTROL.

And no matter what happens on this side of eternity, He WINS. He's victorious. He's conquered it all.
Fear doesn't have to have a grip on us. Insecurity doesn't have to paralyze us. Give it to Him.

So today, I'm thanking Jesus for the lovely things: His creation, my family's laughter, my nieces smiling, the ability to run and be active, the coming of summer, salvation, His character, an awesome weekend at the lake, and for His PEACE. His peace.

Life is lovely, we just need to look for it, and trust the One who created it.

A New Year

Oh, 2015. I can honestly say this has been the year full of the most change out of my 22 (almost 23!) years. Here's the breakdown...in somewhat of a chronological order. I:

1. did my student teaching and had one of the best times of my life.

2. experienced true heartbreak.

3. almost took a teaching position in Ohio.

4. graduated from Cedarville.

5. said goodbye to some of the greatest friends I've ever had, including my sweet roommate.

6. went through a period of worry and confusion as I looked for jobs in Indianapolis, but didn't find any, so I started applying around home.

7. had 2 job interviews within a week, and ended up with 2 different offers. I went from having NO leads to feeling overwhelmed with a tough decision!

8. accepted my first teaching job at Orchard View Elementary as a kindergarten teacher, and what an experience it has been!

9. officially decided to live at home with my parents to save money, even though that's not what I had envisioned.

10. was honored to be in my brother Nick's wedding, gaining another sister that I love DEARLY.

11. flew out to Philadelphia to visit my roommate, her fiance', and her fiance's brother, and I had a GREAT time!

12. grieved with my church family as our pastor's daughter, Amanda Grace Blackburn, was killed in her home. It was a very sad time, but the Lord has worked in amazing ways in spite of the evil that took place.

13. welcomed my second niece, Nora, into the world on November 29th. Brin, Millie and Brett were so excited, along with the rest of us. My family got even closer.

14. celebrated with 4 of my close friends who got engaged, and will get married in 2016 (with me standing with 2 of them!). Congratulations Hannah, Lexi, Morgan, and Laura :)

15. saw and heard of countless people come to know Christ through my church and through Revive Indiana.

16. experienced the true sovereignty, GRACE, forgiveness, love, strength, peace, provision, and VICTORY that can only come through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.


I am THANKFUL for every single thing that happened, good and bad. Every single thing that occurred never surprised God (although...I was surprised a lot!). He knew. He blessed me with the good, and redeemed the poor choices I made, and the sad things that happen due to the state of the world in which we live: fallen. I saw different facets of God that I didn't knew existed. I learned things about His character that I had never known before. And you know what? I love Him more than ever. I love how patient He is with me. I love how He knows me better than I know myself. I love that He knows my deepest longings, but also knows what's best for me.

As I started thinking about 2016, I began to make a list of goals in my head. "I want to stop being late to social things." "I want to be the best teacher I can be." "I want to eat better." "I want to have a deeper understanding of God's will." Those things aren't bad. You know, most people's goals or resolutions aren't bad at all! They are usually good. But I started to think, "Who am I doing this for? Who am I trying to better?" Again, I realized again just how self-centered I am (isn't it kinda depressing when you realize that about yourself??). The list keeps changing in my head. Eventually I'll write it down and put it somewhere I can see it. Maybe I'll have to put it in numerous places. I want to matter. I want it to glorify God. I want my heart to change from being too "me-focused" to "God- and "others- focused." My desire is for these words to characterize my heart-- patient, gentle, Christ-like, servant-hearted. I'd like to keep my phone in my purse more. I'd like others to have my undivided the whole time I'm in their presence. I'd like my kiddos to know that I love each of them with my whole heart, and am always doing my very best.

May my communication with my Savior be more plentiful, meaningful, and faithful. May my heart be moldable. May my mind be full of truth. May His truth be ever on my lips. May His Word guard my heart and fill it with peace. May 2016 make me look more like Jesus.

What will your 2016 be?

I Want More

Most of my posts on this blog are about teaching and what's going on in my life with the job I have...but this blog is called "Life As I Know It," right? Well, my life isn't centered around being a teacher, although, that's what I do most of the time and it's something I love.



More importantly, my life is centered around Christ.


Lately I've been thinking about the human heart...and my heart, mainly I suppose. That seems a little selfish as I type the words, but it's the one that's inside of me! In the book of Jeremiah it says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Those words have been coming to my mind over and over. While it may sound harsh and you may think, "But I can't help what's in my heart! That's just how I am!," if you really were honest with yourself, it's true. It's true of my heart. Here's what has been going on in the heart and mind of Ali.

I have desires in my heart. I have goals. I work hard for them. I'm a pretty determined and competitive girl. Some of these desires are worldly, temporary or selfish. Others are things that normal, almost-23-year-old girls want. However, when a goal is accomplished or the Lord graciously gives me the desires of my heart, not too much time passes before I'm setting my sights on something else. I wanted to graduate from Cedarville -- Check. I wanted to spend time with the girls in my youth group and build new relationships -- Check. I wanted to get a teaching job -- Check.

"But Ali, those are all good things!"
Yes, they are. But did I want those things for selfish gain, or did I want them to glorify Christ? Will those things truly fulfill the longings inside of my heart?

No. They won't.

While there are amazing things that are worth pursuing in this life that are all gifts from our precious Father, they will not complete our hearts. They will not fill the voids that are there. Even if you don't think you have any...you do! The truth that is resonating in my mind and heart is this:

Jesus Christ is the only person in this whole entire universe that can  satisfy my heart.

Can I go a step further and be a little more vulnerable?

My whole life I have struggled with wanting the approval and affirmation of others. I find myself wanting people to think highly of me, to know that I work hard, etc. But...even when I do, my heart is still yearning for something more. That's the thing with worldly pursuits and wanting recognition from others-- it quickly melts away and people move on or forget. Who is the Only One who can truly know and love your heart and you for you? Jesus Christ. When I live my life for other people, I end up feeling empty, disappointed, and like I don't really measure up. But my Savior sees right through my appearance, my actions, and my words--He sees my heart. He sees what makes me motivated. He knows what's best for me. He knows how to fill up my heart in a way that no one and nothing else can. Another thing that's been hard for me to wrestle with lately is (excuse me while I swallow my pride and admit this) yep, you guessed it. Feeling lonely, in the sense of being single. I mean, how long have I been totally okay with being single and trusting that God is going to take care of this? For forever! I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's the fact that about 60% of my friends are dating/engaged/got married this summer. And don't get me wrong: my heart is OVERJOYED for them! Seriously! Yet, in the back of my head there's a small voice that says, "Father, I am so happy for my friends...but when will it be my turn?" Is it so wrong to want a guy who loves Jesus with everything inside of him, pursues integrity and purity, makes me laugh, and like sports?! That values the same things as me and is like-minded, even if I'm pretty conservative?? No. But are my sights set more on that than my Father?

Yet here's the truth again: "Alison, my timing is perfect. Your best is my priority. Even if/when you do meet that someone, he will never fill every part of your heart like I can. Your problems will not magically disappeared when you're married. YOUR HEART IS CREATED FOR ME."

When I speak this truth to myself and see His promises in His Word, my perspective is back on track. His promises are enough for me. He wants me to be content and patient right where He has me! Okay, here's a little of my teaching life. I could sit here and laugh out loud at myself! When my kiddos are being impatient, and I have about half of them talking to me at once saying things like, "Miss Bigler, tie my shoes!" "Miss Bigler, you forgot to turn the screen on!" "Miss Bigler, why can't I see the video?!" "Miss Bigler, I look at this!"

Here is what I tell them: "Boys and girls, we need to be patient! Do you know what being patient means? BEING HAPPY TO WAIT and BEING HAPPY WHILE YOU ARE WAITING."

I should take my own advice, right?

I don't want to be the girl that is always waiting for the next thing! I want to be a teacher who focuses on her kiddos today, being the best she can be. I want to be a daughter/sister/aunt who loves her family today and focuses on the time she has now. I want to be a friend who is all there in every conversation, listening and loving like Jesus commands. I want to be a Christian who does what she knows the Lord has called her to be every day: obedient to Him, a servant to others, and a light to a lost world. When I focus on what the Lord has in front of me, He will work everything else out. Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Seek Him FIRST, and the rest will follow. Then, in His perfect and sweet timing, I can someday be what He wants me to be. Instead of a heart that yearns for my own desires and only will do for a short time, I want to have a heart that yearns for HIM. I want to have a heart that has a fire for Him.

Oh, here's a song that I have been playing OVER and OVER. Hopefully I don't get sick of it. I'm sure you'll love it as much as I do :)


Again, my heart is so encouraged by the people who tell me they are praying for me/and or see my blog. Sorry this one is a little different, but I can always use the prayer! If you ever have any wise words or advice for me, just text me, e mail me, or message me on Facebook or something like that. I know I have a lot of learning to do on this narrow road, and I'm always receptive to some help.

There's the video :)

My New Normal

I have just completed my first full week of teaching. Wahoo! I would consider that an accomplishment! In those two weeks the following has occurred:

1 accident.
1 student threw up on the floor.
1 student with strep throat.
5 kids out with a fever.
COUNTLESS hugs.


I have learned a lot about the mind and behaviors of a kindergartener. When people think about kindergarten, they may think, "What's so hard about that? You play. You sing. You go outside. You eat snacks."


Mmmmm....think again! ;)


Teaching is a whole different world, and you really only understand it once you've done it. It's constant planning. Constant concern for your kiddos and their health. It's trying to figure out how each student thinks, what their strengths are, what they need help with, how they treat others, what motivates them, ETC. It never stops, ya know.

Needless to say, I have been trying to figure out my new normal. This new normal consists of very early mornings, going to bed early, washing my hands all the time, memorizing which kid goes home on what bus/van, and only going to the bathroom about 2 times during the whole school day. This new normal is teaching me that I have to say "no" to some things and/or people (which really hurts my heart sometimes), to prioritize my time wisely, and to have a LOT of patience. 16 little ones who are learning how to be at school can be a little overwhelming, but it is so very worth it. I love when my kiddos come in in the mornings. I love when more and more of them remember what to do for our morning routines. I love when they try so hard to remember which hand goes over their heart during the Pledge of Allegiance. I love how innocent (well, most of the time ;)) they are in their thinking. I love when they laugh while I'm reading to them. I love watching them dance during GoNoodle videos. I love when they get excited when they learn new things. Even in just a week and a half, I have seen growth in many of my kiddos. For instance...

One of my students missed 4/5 days of school last week. When Friday came, he was out, and then two other kiddos went home (It's only the second week of school, people!). I was talking to the class about how we need to remember to be washing our hands, staying healthy, etc., when one of my boys says, "We should make him "Get better" cards! THAT made my heart happy. My kiddos are learning to care about each other. I explained to them that we are all friends, and that we are a kindergarten family that loves and protects each other (Just like Mrs. Clark told us!).

They turned out pretty well! 

Another thing that has been happening is the building of relationships between myself and my co-workers. I think I literally have the BEST staff in the whole wide world. My kindergarten team has welcomed and helped me beyond belief. They have given me resources and advice. I have a wonderful aide that comes in and helps me every morning! I think I'd go crazy without her. My principal has been supportive to all the teachers and has impacted me greatly. He really cares about the well-being of the staff and students. And another thing that I'm thankful for is the group of parents I have in my class! I have had such kind and caring exchanges with them already. So many parents have expressed a desire to volunteer and send in snacks and supplies. They have welcomed me to the school, too, and have made this new normal even better! 

Since I need to be going to sleep soon, here's how you can be praying: 

1. For my kiddos' health. I have had so many sick, and it's not even cold season yet :/

2. For my own health. I am VERY congested and my head feels a bit like it's going to explode. I am 90% sure I have a sinus infection (which I have gotten my whole life periodically). I'm going to try to get a doctor's appointment tomorrow!

3. That my class continues to get used to being at school.

4. That I would rely on the LORD for strength--not on my own. 

5. That I would have good time management and would have energy to be the very best teacher I can be.

Thank you for your prayers and your encouragement! I am still overwhelmed by the love I have received from the people surrounding me.