Oh, 2015. I can honestly say this has been the year full of the most change out of my 22 (almost 23!) years. Here's the breakdown...in somewhat of a chronological order. I:
1. did my student teaching and had one of the best times of my life.
2. experienced true heartbreak.
3. almost took a teaching position in Ohio.
4. graduated from Cedarville.
5. said goodbye to some of the greatest friends I've ever had, including my sweet roommate.
6. went through a period of worry and confusion as I looked for jobs in Indianapolis, but didn't find any, so I started applying around home.
7. had 2 job interviews within a week, and ended up with 2 different offers. I went from having NO leads to feeling overwhelmed with a tough decision!
8. accepted my first teaching job at Orchard View Elementary as a kindergarten teacher, and what an experience it has been!
9. officially decided to live at home with my parents to save money, even though that's not what I had envisioned.
10. was honored to be in my brother Nick's wedding, gaining another sister that I love DEARLY.
11. flew out to Philadelphia to visit my roommate, her fiance', and her fiance's brother, and I had a GREAT time!
12. grieved with my church family as our pastor's daughter, Amanda Grace Blackburn, was killed in her home. It was a very sad time, but the Lord has worked in amazing ways in spite of the evil that took place.
13. welcomed my second niece, Nora, into the world on November 29th. Brin, Millie and Brett were so excited, along with the rest of us. My family got even closer.
14. celebrated with 4 of my close friends who got engaged, and will get married in 2016 (with me standing with 2 of them!). Congratulations Hannah, Lexi, Morgan, and Laura :)
15. saw and heard of countless people come to know Christ through my church and through Revive Indiana.
16. experienced the true sovereignty, GRACE, forgiveness, love, strength, peace, provision, and VICTORY that can only come through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
I am THANKFUL for every single thing that happened, good and bad. Every single thing that occurred never surprised God (although...I was surprised a lot!). He knew. He blessed me with the good, and redeemed the poor choices I made, and the sad things that happen due to the state of the world in which we live: fallen. I saw different facets of God that I didn't knew existed. I learned things about His character that I had never known before. And you know what? I love Him more than ever. I love how patient He is with me. I love how He knows me better than I know myself. I love that He knows my deepest longings, but also knows what's best for me.
As I started thinking about 2016, I began to make a list of goals in my head. "I want to stop being late to social things." "I want to be the best teacher I can be." "I want to eat better." "I want to have a deeper understanding of God's will." Those things aren't bad. You know, most people's goals or resolutions aren't bad at all! They are usually good. But I started to think, "Who am I doing this for? Who am I trying to better?" Again, I realized again just how self-centered I am (isn't it kinda depressing when you realize that about yourself??). The list keeps changing in my head. Eventually I'll write it down and put it somewhere I can see it. Maybe I'll have to put it in numerous places. I want to matter. I want it to glorify God. I want my heart to change from being too "me-focused" to "God- and "others- focused." My desire is for these words to characterize my heart-- patient, gentle, Christ-like, servant-hearted. I'd like to keep my phone in my purse more. I'd like others to have my undivided the whole time I'm in their presence. I'd like my kiddos to know that I love each of them with my whole heart, and am always doing my very best.
May my communication with my Savior be more plentiful, meaningful, and faithful. May my heart be moldable. May my mind be full of truth. May His truth be ever on my lips. May His Word guard my heart and fill it with peace. May 2016 make me look more like Jesus.
What will your 2016 be?
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