One of my favorite things to do is write my prayers down into a journal. I've been doing this since middle school. It started off as just keeping a diary, but somewhere in there, it turned into talking to the Lord in the midst of my writing. What I love even more than writing these prayers down and talking to Jesus (Which I mean, come on, getting to talk to the King of the Universe whenever I want? It's a huge deal. Don't ever let yourself get over that), is READING the prayers from the past. I have a few journals from college that I'll go back to every now and then and read. When these journals are read, when the tear-stained pages are opened back up, I see the Lord's FAITHFULNESS. Oh, it does something to my heart like nothing else does. Writing things down helps me to remember what was going on at that time, and I can see how the Lord has worked since then.
I tell you this because it's what I was doing this morning. After I got finished with praying today, I decided to look back on this time last year. And I wish I could tell you that I'm miles ahead of where I was last year and not struggling with the same stuff...but you know what I found? I wrote about the same things last July that I wrote about this morning. At first I thought, "Psh, wow, Ali. Way to go. You haven't grown at all." But the more I thought about it, and the more I flipped through the pages in between July 2015 and July 2016, I realized something: Even though I may have the same struggles as I did before, HE REMAINS FAITHFUL. I have made progress through His Spirit. The Lord does not "give up" on those who truly know Him. He is a God of second chances...more chances than any of us deserve. He doesn't say,"Well, you've been struggling with this sin or this issue for about a year now...so, I don't know how to help you any more." God is SO different than humans are. His patience abounds. He deals so graciously with a people who are very undeserving. (If you think you deserve God's patience, love, and grace, think again.) So I continued reading in my journal I've had since April of 2015. Memories, good and bad, began to flood my head--graduating from Cedarville, personal victories, personal failures, loved ones getting cancer, saying goodbyes, meeting new people, getting a job, vacations, situations with boys, my brother getting married, my second niece being born, hardships for my dad with work, Amanda Blackburn passing away, Hannah getting married, finishing my first year of teaching, ETC. Is it not crazy how your life changes? Sometimes it's quickly, and sometimes it's a slow-moving progression. Amidst the prayers I pray, I also write down Scripture that means a lot to me or quotes that stick out. I came across a page from September 9th, 2015. On it I had written out Ecclesiastes 3:1-15. I began to read the words and just started crying. My heart was overwhelmed with the Lord's goodness and His sovereignty. Here is what it says,
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.
I perceived that whatever God does ENDURES forever; NOTHING can be added to it, nor ANYTHING taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away."
I don't know what it was about this passage, but I couldn't help the tears. It comforted my soul beyond belief, especially with everything that's been going on in the world the past few weeks (Am I right??). Things are getting crazy, people. The outcomes are unsure. Some are turning to violence. Some are putting their hope in a candidate. Some are losing hope altogether. Oh, friends, do not lose hope!! Scripture tells us that all these things are going to happen. It tells us that life is not easy. But it also offers us HOPE and PEACE in Jesus Christ. If you have accepted Christ and made Him the Lord of your life, you have access to this hope and peace 24/7! He is your strength and your confidence!! You can trust Him. You can trust that "whatever God does endures forever." We don't have to live this life in fear and insecurity. Our father is SO GOOD, even if our definition of "good" is different than His. He knows undoubtedly what is best.
And if you don't know Him and are reading this today, will you please think about everything I'm saying? And by "know Him," I don't just mean knowing ABOUT Jesus. I mean having a relationship with Him, living in accordance with His Word, and seeking His face with ALL your heart. Will you evaluate your life and what your hope is placed in? My greatest desire, and our heavenly Father's, too, is that you come to know Him.
I feel like this post is a little all over the place, and for that, I apologize. I just was overtaken by the feeling that I needed to share. Over the past couple weeks, there have been multiple times that I have started writing, and it just doesn't come. I couldn't think of anything worthwhile. I hope you find this worthwhile. I hope that in the midst of everything you are going through, whether it's good or bad, in want or content, in pain or in happiness, that you look to Christ to be your hope; that you find your confidence in HIM, and can look at the things going on and take comfort in His name. He is our SHIELD. He is our STRENGTH. He is our COMFORT. He is TRUTH.
Monday, July 18, 2016
Sunday, May 15, 2016
A Word for the Weary
I just started a new Bible study. I lead a study with teenage girls in my youth group at church, and have been on a hunt for the right study for the past couple months. Through a series of people and events, I came across the book Looking for Lovely by Annie Downs. So far, I have REALLY enjoyed it. As the study has started off, she has talked a lot about trials and how life is not easy. Annie talks about finding peace in the midst of rocky situations and chaotic trials. "Perseverance develops character, and character produces hope..." (Romans 5:4).
I'm currently up in Spring Lake, Michigan spending the weekend with my mom's side of family. We are up here in honor of my cousin, Tyler, who is being deployed in June to serve our country for 9 months. It has been so much fun to see everyone, exchange hilarious stories, play games, catch up on what's been going on in each other's lives, and be entertained by my two nieces, Millie and Nora. In the midst of the busy weekend, I found a little pocket of time for myself to go on a run. It was a CHILLY, yet beautiful, run. I felt the sun on my face. I saw the vibrant colors of the flowers. I heard the birds chirping and the sound of the wind in the trees. When you're out in the world that God made, it's awesome how the things and worries of life just kinda...go away. All the assessments that I still have to do with my kiddos can wait. All of the things that make my heart heavy seem to be lifted. I started praying. I started thinking. Do you know where my mind went to?
Politics.
This is interesting, because, although I am informed and I really actually do care, I don't share my opinions often and I don't talk about it too much. I don't talk about it much because it gets people so worked up sometimes, and maybe partially because it makes me sad. But, I mean, it's everywhere! Even my kindergarteners brought it up the other day! One of my kiddos asked, "Miss Bigler? Why does *insert one of the candidates' names here* lie?" I keep thinking about all the changes that are being made, and about the election coming up. To be honest, I'm not happy about it. I'm concerned about the direction that our country is heading. I worry about what the world is going to be like when Millie and Nora (my two little nieces) grow up. I worry about what things will be like when, Lord-willing, I'm a wife and mommy someday. I worry about the legislation that is going to be affecting the education world in the future. I worry about the economy. I worry about the potential persecution of Christians and our values. All of a sudden three things occurred to me:
1. I used the word "worry" an awful lot in those thoughts.
2. I used the word "I" and awful lots in those thoughts, as well.
3. My hope feels like it's getting..lost.
As I'm running in the sunlight and taking in the beauty of creation, my heart is convicted. "Alison, weren't you JUST thanking Jesus for all the beauty you're seeing?! How did your mind so quickly go from that to this?!" All the times that Jesus promises that HE will win start flooding my mind. My heart feels guilty about getting worried and subconsciously getting sucked into putting my hope in a person instead of Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). The words of Jesus that He spoke to His disciples before He was killed on the cross washed over my heart (John 16:33)--
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
I realized that this verse applies to so much more than politics. Brothers and sisters, our hope is not in a president, spouse, friend, parent, child, job, number on the scale, retirement, status, etc. It is solely found in the person and strength of Jesus Christ. If we look for it in anything else besides Him, we will be sorely disappointed. We will be unsatisfied. Oh, we may be temporarily filled or distracted, but nothing else lasts. We were made for Him--to serve, love, glorify, and have a REAL relationship with Him. I'm talking about a relationship that's more than just praying every now and then and going to church sometimes. I'm talking about a relationship in which we make Him our LORD & SAVIOR, and live in obedience to Him, reading His Word and seeking His face. Satan would love nothing more than to get Christ-followers to the point where all hope seems lost and we give up. Paul tells us not to "grow weary in doing good (Galatians 6:9-10). Why do Jesus and Paul tell us not to lose heart and grow weary? Because they knew and understood that life is HARD! Even for the Christian. Jesus was lowly in earthly status, betrayed, spit on, beaten, publicly attacked, accused, and crucified. Paul had an ugly past before giving his life to Christ, was shipwrecked, beaten, imprisoned, bitten by a snake, and dealt with some sinful situations in different churches. Call me crazy, but none of those things sound very easy or cushy to me. They got it. Things weren't perfect for them. Things aren't perfect for us. Jesus told us this would happen. We are told that things are going to start getting hard as time goes on.
My thoughts continued. I don't think that Jesus calls us to dwell on being angry, worried, bitter, or disheartened by any of the things in our lives that are tough. Now, I'm not saying that it's wrong to feel those things or be concerned. We can't help the thoughts that come into our heads or the feelings that are in our hearts. However, I do believe that the Bible teaches us to TRUST Him. I believe that He calls us to be steadfast and joyful in the midst of our circumstances. After all, do you really think that people are going to be attracted to people who are complaining, being negative, and worrying all the time? I don't. I think people are attracted to those who are peaceful, confident, and joyful. Those who can be vulnerable and honest about where they're at, but who can also say, "My hope is in the King. Therefore, I will not be shaken." The Lord calls us to honor and glorify Him in all our decisions and how we react.
He's WITH us.
He's FOR us.
He is a promise-keeper.
He is FAITHFUL.
He's IN CONTROL.
And no matter what happens on this side of eternity, He WINS. He's victorious. He's conquered it all.
Fear doesn't have to have a grip on us. Insecurity doesn't have to paralyze us. Give it to Him.
So today, I'm thanking Jesus for the lovely things: His creation, my family's laughter, my nieces smiling, the ability to run and be active, the coming of summer, salvation, His character, an awesome weekend at the lake, and for His PEACE. His peace.
Life is lovely, we just need to look for it, and trust the One who created it.
I'm currently up in Spring Lake, Michigan spending the weekend with my mom's side of family. We are up here in honor of my cousin, Tyler, who is being deployed in June to serve our country for 9 months. It has been so much fun to see everyone, exchange hilarious stories, play games, catch up on what's been going on in each other's lives, and be entertained by my two nieces, Millie and Nora. In the midst of the busy weekend, I found a little pocket of time for myself to go on a run. It was a CHILLY, yet beautiful, run. I felt the sun on my face. I saw the vibrant colors of the flowers. I heard the birds chirping and the sound of the wind in the trees. When you're out in the world that God made, it's awesome how the things and worries of life just kinda...go away. All the assessments that I still have to do with my kiddos can wait. All of the things that make my heart heavy seem to be lifted. I started praying. I started thinking. Do you know where my mind went to?
Politics.
This is interesting, because, although I am informed and I really actually do care, I don't share my opinions often and I don't talk about it too much. I don't talk about it much because it gets people so worked up sometimes, and maybe partially because it makes me sad. But, I mean, it's everywhere! Even my kindergarteners brought it up the other day! One of my kiddos asked, "Miss Bigler? Why does *insert one of the candidates' names here* lie?" I keep thinking about all the changes that are being made, and about the election coming up. To be honest, I'm not happy about it. I'm concerned about the direction that our country is heading. I worry about what the world is going to be like when Millie and Nora (my two little nieces) grow up. I worry about what things will be like when, Lord-willing, I'm a wife and mommy someday. I worry about the legislation that is going to be affecting the education world in the future. I worry about the economy. I worry about the potential persecution of Christians and our values. All of a sudden three things occurred to me:
1. I used the word "worry" an awful lot in those thoughts.
2. I used the word "I" and awful lots in those thoughts, as well.
3. My hope feels like it's getting..lost.
As I'm running in the sunlight and taking in the beauty of creation, my heart is convicted. "Alison, weren't you JUST thanking Jesus for all the beauty you're seeing?! How did your mind so quickly go from that to this?!" All the times that Jesus promises that HE will win start flooding my mind. My heart feels guilty about getting worried and subconsciously getting sucked into putting my hope in a person instead of Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). The words of Jesus that He spoke to His disciples before He was killed on the cross washed over my heart (John 16:33)--
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
I realized that this verse applies to so much more than politics. Brothers and sisters, our hope is not in a president, spouse, friend, parent, child, job, number on the scale, retirement, status, etc. It is solely found in the person and strength of Jesus Christ. If we look for it in anything else besides Him, we will be sorely disappointed. We will be unsatisfied. Oh, we may be temporarily filled or distracted, but nothing else lasts. We were made for Him--to serve, love, glorify, and have a REAL relationship with Him. I'm talking about a relationship that's more than just praying every now and then and going to church sometimes. I'm talking about a relationship in which we make Him our LORD & SAVIOR, and live in obedience to Him, reading His Word and seeking His face. Satan would love nothing more than to get Christ-followers to the point where all hope seems lost and we give up. Paul tells us not to "grow weary in doing good (Galatians 6:9-10). Why do Jesus and Paul tell us not to lose heart and grow weary? Because they knew and understood that life is HARD! Even for the Christian. Jesus was lowly in earthly status, betrayed, spit on, beaten, publicly attacked, accused, and crucified. Paul had an ugly past before giving his life to Christ, was shipwrecked, beaten, imprisoned, bitten by a snake, and dealt with some sinful situations in different churches. Call me crazy, but none of those things sound very easy or cushy to me. They got it. Things weren't perfect for them. Things aren't perfect for us. Jesus told us this would happen. We are told that things are going to start getting hard as time goes on.
My thoughts continued. I don't think that Jesus calls us to dwell on being angry, worried, bitter, or disheartened by any of the things in our lives that are tough. Now, I'm not saying that it's wrong to feel those things or be concerned. We can't help the thoughts that come into our heads or the feelings that are in our hearts. However, I do believe that the Bible teaches us to TRUST Him. I believe that He calls us to be steadfast and joyful in the midst of our circumstances. After all, do you really think that people are going to be attracted to people who are complaining, being negative, and worrying all the time? I don't. I think people are attracted to those who are peaceful, confident, and joyful. Those who can be vulnerable and honest about where they're at, but who can also say, "My hope is in the King. Therefore, I will not be shaken." The Lord calls us to honor and glorify Him in all our decisions and how we react.
He's WITH us.
He's FOR us.
He is a promise-keeper.
He is FAITHFUL.
He's IN CONTROL.
And no matter what happens on this side of eternity, He WINS. He's victorious. He's conquered it all.
Fear doesn't have to have a grip on us. Insecurity doesn't have to paralyze us. Give it to Him.
So today, I'm thanking Jesus for the lovely things: His creation, my family's laughter, my nieces smiling, the ability to run and be active, the coming of summer, salvation, His character, an awesome weekend at the lake, and for His PEACE. His peace.
Life is lovely, we just need to look for it, and trust the One who created it.
Friday, January 1, 2016
A New Year
Oh, 2015. I can honestly say this has been the year full of the most change out of my 22 (almost 23!) years. Here's the breakdown...in somewhat of a chronological order. I:
1. did my student teaching and had one of the best times of my life.
2. experienced true heartbreak.
3. almost took a teaching position in Ohio.
4. graduated from Cedarville.
5. said goodbye to some of the greatest friends I've ever had, including my sweet roommate.
6. went through a period of worry and confusion as I looked for jobs in Indianapolis, but didn't find any, so I started applying around home.
7. had 2 job interviews within a week, and ended up with 2 different offers. I went from having NO leads to feeling overwhelmed with a tough decision!
8. accepted my first teaching job at Orchard View Elementary as a kindergarten teacher, and what an experience it has been!
9. officially decided to live at home with my parents to save money, even though that's not what I had envisioned.
10. was honored to be in my brother Nick's wedding, gaining another sister that I love DEARLY.
11. flew out to Philadelphia to visit my roommate, her fiance', and her fiance's brother, and I had a GREAT time!
12. grieved with my church family as our pastor's daughter, Amanda Grace Blackburn, was killed in her home. It was a very sad time, but the Lord has worked in amazing ways in spite of the evil that took place.
13. welcomed my second niece, Nora, into the world on November 29th. Brin, Millie and Brett were so excited, along with the rest of us. My family got even closer.
14. celebrated with 4 of my close friends who got engaged, and will get married in 2016 (with me standing with 2 of them!). Congratulations Hannah, Lexi, Morgan, and Laura :)
15. saw and heard of countless people come to know Christ through my church and through Revive Indiana.
16. experienced the true sovereignty, GRACE, forgiveness, love, strength, peace, provision, and VICTORY that can only come through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
I am THANKFUL for every single thing that happened, good and bad. Every single thing that occurred never surprised God (although...I was surprised a lot!). He knew. He blessed me with the good, and redeemed the poor choices I made, and the sad things that happen due to the state of the world in which we live: fallen. I saw different facets of God that I didn't knew existed. I learned things about His character that I had never known before. And you know what? I love Him more than ever. I love how patient He is with me. I love how He knows me better than I know myself. I love that He knows my deepest longings, but also knows what's best for me.
As I started thinking about 2016, I began to make a list of goals in my head. "I want to stop being late to social things." "I want to be the best teacher I can be." "I want to eat better." "I want to have a deeper understanding of God's will." Those things aren't bad. You know, most people's goals or resolutions aren't bad at all! They are usually good. But I started to think, "Who am I doing this for? Who am I trying to better?" Again, I realized again just how self-centered I am (isn't it kinda depressing when you realize that about yourself??). The list keeps changing in my head. Eventually I'll write it down and put it somewhere I can see it. Maybe I'll have to put it in numerous places. I want to matter. I want it to glorify God. I want my heart to change from being too "me-focused" to "God- and "others- focused." My desire is for these words to characterize my heart-- patient, gentle, Christ-like, servant-hearted. I'd like to keep my phone in my purse more. I'd like others to have my undivided the whole time I'm in their presence. I'd like my kiddos to know that I love each of them with my whole heart, and am always doing my very best.
May my communication with my Savior be more plentiful, meaningful, and faithful. May my heart be moldable. May my mind be full of truth. May His truth be ever on my lips. May His Word guard my heart and fill it with peace. May 2016 make me look more like Jesus.
What will your 2016 be?
1. did my student teaching and had one of the best times of my life.
2. experienced true heartbreak.
3. almost took a teaching position in Ohio.
4. graduated from Cedarville.
5. said goodbye to some of the greatest friends I've ever had, including my sweet roommate.
6. went through a period of worry and confusion as I looked for jobs in Indianapolis, but didn't find any, so I started applying around home.
7. had 2 job interviews within a week, and ended up with 2 different offers. I went from having NO leads to feeling overwhelmed with a tough decision!
8. accepted my first teaching job at Orchard View Elementary as a kindergarten teacher, and what an experience it has been!
9. officially decided to live at home with my parents to save money, even though that's not what I had envisioned.
10. was honored to be in my brother Nick's wedding, gaining another sister that I love DEARLY.
11. flew out to Philadelphia to visit my roommate, her fiance', and her fiance's brother, and I had a GREAT time!
12. grieved with my church family as our pastor's daughter, Amanda Grace Blackburn, was killed in her home. It was a very sad time, but the Lord has worked in amazing ways in spite of the evil that took place.
13. welcomed my second niece, Nora, into the world on November 29th. Brin, Millie and Brett were so excited, along with the rest of us. My family got even closer.
14. celebrated with 4 of my close friends who got engaged, and will get married in 2016 (with me standing with 2 of them!). Congratulations Hannah, Lexi, Morgan, and Laura :)
15. saw and heard of countless people come to know Christ through my church and through Revive Indiana.
16. experienced the true sovereignty, GRACE, forgiveness, love, strength, peace, provision, and VICTORY that can only come through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
I am THANKFUL for every single thing that happened, good and bad. Every single thing that occurred never surprised God (although...I was surprised a lot!). He knew. He blessed me with the good, and redeemed the poor choices I made, and the sad things that happen due to the state of the world in which we live: fallen. I saw different facets of God that I didn't knew existed. I learned things about His character that I had never known before. And you know what? I love Him more than ever. I love how patient He is with me. I love how He knows me better than I know myself. I love that He knows my deepest longings, but also knows what's best for me.
As I started thinking about 2016, I began to make a list of goals in my head. "I want to stop being late to social things." "I want to be the best teacher I can be." "I want to eat better." "I want to have a deeper understanding of God's will." Those things aren't bad. You know, most people's goals or resolutions aren't bad at all! They are usually good. But I started to think, "Who am I doing this for? Who am I trying to better?" Again, I realized again just how self-centered I am (isn't it kinda depressing when you realize that about yourself??). The list keeps changing in my head. Eventually I'll write it down and put it somewhere I can see it. Maybe I'll have to put it in numerous places. I want to matter. I want it to glorify God. I want my heart to change from being too "me-focused" to "God- and "others- focused." My desire is for these words to characterize my heart-- patient, gentle, Christ-like, servant-hearted. I'd like to keep my phone in my purse more. I'd like others to have my undivided the whole time I'm in their presence. I'd like my kiddos to know that I love each of them with my whole heart, and am always doing my very best.
May my communication with my Savior be more plentiful, meaningful, and faithful. May my heart be moldable. May my mind be full of truth. May His truth be ever on my lips. May His Word guard my heart and fill it with peace. May 2016 make me look more like Jesus.
What will your 2016 be?
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