Luke 12:22-34

And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his[e] kingdom,and these things will be added to you.

 Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

This has to be one of my all-time favorite passages of Scripture. It's such a perfect picture of how our Father, Shepherd, and Creator loves on those who are His. My heart is DESPERATE for His comfort and peace. I cherish and treasure these words of my Savior spoken so long ago. They give me hope in the midst of hurt and loneliness. I can hold on to His promises always. They are always true.

I Am Not Alone

Sorry I haven't posted in a while...Last week I had Monday off for President's Day, then I had the WHOLE week off because of the cold and snow. So...I don't have any teaching stories or updates. I was able to have a nice little visit back in Elkhart last weekend. Then this week I caught up on some things, had an interview for a school in Columbus, and just kinda hung out. It was nice, but it's just been a long week/weekend. A good thing is since school was closed, I got to take a spontaneous trip to Indy. I spent some much-needed time with my family..including Millie. It's cool how the Lord provides just what we need, right when we need it. Lauren snapped this one of Mill and I at a basketball game last night. She's medicine for my soul. 

You know, the Lord is always good...always. However...He is also mysterious. Even though He's always good and trustworthy, that doesn't mean I understand Him. I could use some prayer this week. Between missing so much school and being weighed down by life, I don't feel very mentally prepared to teach this week. I guess it's good preparation for the future. 

"Hear my cry, O God,

    listen to my prayer;

2 

from the end of the earth I call to you

    when my heart is faint.

Lead me to the rock

    that is higher than I.."

Psalm 61:1-2

Days Go By

Well, I suppose it's time for me to write another post! This past week and weekend were so busy, but in the best way possible! A lot happened at school from experiencing what my class is like when there's a sub, to dancing with them in our jammies and socks for their reward party. I had some discouraging days with the kiddos, and other days that I was so encouraged I could have cried. I've already seen improvement in some of my students, and I tell you what, there are few things that warm my heart than seeing a student make progress and see them happy about it. Yesterday, I had a little boy asking me to give him more double digit addition problems because he loved it. Just a couple weeks ago, though, he cried TWICE in one day because he was so frustrated with math. All I could do was hug him and praise him for not giving up! I was able to explain to him that while I was happy he was getting the right answers, I was even more proud of him for not giving up and working hard. What a sweet moment. I'll never forget it!

This weekend was also a grrrrrreeeeat one! Sarah and Lexi Weldy, two girls from my church in Elkhart, came and stood in as my little sisters for Lil Sibs weekend that Cedarville has every year. We got to have some good conversations, go to Bob Evans with Hannah, get a little shopping in, go to a CU basketball game, etc. I had a lot of fun with them. I'm encouraged by how they are maturing and growing in Christ! It was fun, too, hearing about people and things in Elkhart. I haven't been home in a while! The girlies went home on Sunday, and without going into too much detail, I spent the rest of my day in some pretty great company....and I'll leave it at that :D

On a different note, have you ever felt like you're the only one who feels a certain way or has certain convictions about things? I've been feeling like that a lot this year. I know that there are a lot of gray areas, and things that Scripture doesn't explicitly address, but sometimes my heart gets so discouraged with things like that. I'm happy the Lord has laid a few issues so heavily on my heart that I'm unwavering in, but it can be a lonely place to be sometimes. I'm so glad I have my gracious Savior who is with me in all things, even when I'm standing alone.


Also...if you think of it, pray for my health! There have been many students out sick, the other two Cedarville people that I ride with have already gotten sick, and yesterday I started feeling bad, and unfortunately today is worse. I'll be fine, but I would rather stay healthy ;)

Well, I think that's all I have! I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors in the post that I may have made...this is a mobile post and it's easier to miss things. That may not be important to any of you, but it is to me! ;)


Stand firm and take heart.

A Deeper Love

Well, this week seemed pretty much like a whirlwind. It started off with a two-hour delay, and ended with another one on Friday, which I didn't hate! Like I mentioned last time, I full-time taught this week. I picked up math and all the other little things. It's interesting how things go from day-to-day. Monday I came home from school on cloud nine because it was such a good day. My kiddos were pretty well-behaved and the lessons went great. Tuesday came around, however, and I realized that they were not where I thought they were with math.  I had to completely toss out the lessons I had written and come up with Plan B. That threw me! BUT, the Lord is good and gave me what I needed to redo and rethink things. Mrs. Meriweather really helped a lot as well. The next couple days after that we broke up into centers and the students who were struggling got extra help that was much needed!

These second graders have stolen my heart. Absolutely stolen it. My love and affection for them grow deeper every week. They are so cute and hilarious. The way children think it such a cool thing. They are such sweeties, even though sometimes I just get so frustrated I could bust.  I think that's a pretty common thing to feel when you're a teacher, though (phew!). I care so much about them-- how they perform in school,  how they treat each other, how they are treated at home, and how they are maturing. I'm so glad I still have three months with them...but saying goodbye is going to be such a sad thing. I just can't think about that now! I need to focus on this week and what's going to happen. Living in the now has been a struggle for me lately. I go back and forth with thinking about what's coming and what's happening now. I think that's pretty normal for where I'm at, too. On Friday, the kiddos were asking about how things work with Mrs. Meriweather and I working together. It was pretty funny. It's hard for them to understand that they have two teachers. I tried to explain it like I'm Mrs. Meriweather's sidekick, like Batman and Robin! They got a kick out of that one :) They ask the funniest and most awkward questions sometimes. One girl asked me why I wear a ring on my ring finger if I'm not married. Uhhh, how do you explain a purity ring to a second grader? I did my best :)

This year, I have been blown away by the grace of God in my life. It's so hard to explain. Growing up, I think I was always scared to take advantage of God's grace like I had seen  many people do, that I swung the other way. I got pretty caught up in MY actions--how I thought I could make others and the Lord approve of me and love me more. But...I can't make Him love me any more that He always has. I've always had His approval apart from anything I've done, am doing, or will do. His grace has shown up in many, many different ways. It's shown up in my relationships with my friends, in my student teaching, in my family, in my devotions, and how He is revealing Himself to me. He is just so cool. Even though sometimes I don't want to grow up, learning what He has been teaching me has been so sweet. I'm looking forward to learning even more! My love for Him grows deeper.


P.S. I know this is random, but I must include it. This past week, Millie Jane turned a year and half old. How is that possible?! Oh, how I miss that sweet baby girl!! I can't wait to see her and hold her again! Here are some pictures, because who doesn't love them? I sure do :)

Seasons

I was flipping through my planner today and realized that I'm getting down to only having 3 months left of college. My 11 weeks of being the full-time teacher starts tomorrow. Half of me is so excited that what I've been waiting and working for has gotten here...and the other half of me feels so inadequate and uncertain. What can I hold on to that IS certain? You got it. My Savior. He's going to be there when I have a great lesson and the kiddos make progress, and He'll be there when my lesson completely tanks and I get 20 blank stares (gulp). No matter what, it'll be fine. I need to remember that I'm NOT a teacher yet, and this is what student teaching is for! I'm growing and changing. I'm starting to think like a teacher and understand how things really work. If you think of it, pray for me tomorrow! :)

On another note, I had a GREAT weekend. A couple weeks ago, Mrs. Meriweather said to me, "I have something for you to do in a couple weekends. We're having an all women's PJ party at church, and Mrs. Carter and I want you to come with us!" So that's what I did! I hung out with my teachers on Friday night, and Hannah came with me! I cannot believe how much fun it was. We played games in which I witnessed Mrs. Carter and Mrs. Meriweather dancing like nobody's business (Oh, Han and I did, too!). I got to see my supervisor, who watches me teach, up on stage playing charades. Mrs. Meriweather even started a marshmallow throwing war that lasted a good 10 minutes. The women from their church were so welcoming to Hannah and I. Seeing some of the women in my life in a completely different context was so fun. Teachers are real people too, ya know?

Then last night some of my friends and I got together to celebrate Ryan and Maddie Ledbetter, who are done with Cedarville and will be leaving for Arizona next week as Ryan starts his spring training for baseball. We ate lots of food and played hilarious games. I haven't laughed so hard in a while! I have been very blessed with great friends during college. It's weird to think that within the next 6 months, I'll potentially be moving somewhere, trying to settle down, and meeting new friends. A new season will begin.

Being a senior is such an adventure! It's exciting and horrifying all at the same time. How can one girl handle so much change at once?! I know. With a God who goes before her and has everything in His hands. Today, I am thankful for the consistency of my Savior. I am thankful that He is always the same, no matter what life looks like, where I am, how I change, or what season I'm in. His character is perfect, His word is true, and His love is persistent. James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is not variation or shadow due to change." What a lovely reminder. EVERYTHING good is from Him. Not from myself, not from anyone or anything else. Just Him. Even though I so easily forget things like this, He is patient with this finite girl. Just like Psalm 103: 14 says, "He remembers our frame; he remembers that we are dust."

How great is our God?

Teacher or Student?

Hello, friends!


It's time for another post. One of the most interesting, yet best, things about student teaching is how much I'm LEARNING. My professors at Cedarville have always told us that teachers never stop learning, and that we should have teachable attitudes and spirits. MAN, am I realizing what they are talking about!

I have a group of students who are very different and have a few challenging needs. However, they LOVE coming to school, they LOVE learning, and they treat each other very well. I would take this group over a smart, yet unloving and disrespectful group any day! Even though it's frustrating at times, I am learning a lot about differentiation, accommodating my students, being an expert observer of my kiddos, and a lot about PATIENCE. I have learned that I will never have the perfect class. There will always be students who struggle to keep up. The important thing? Taking them from where they WERE, and getting them as far as they can go during my time with them. I am thankful for this challenge! And I am also thankful for the great group of teachers who are surrounding me and so willing to help me and answer my "rookie" questions. ;)

Want to know another exciting thing? I have a phone interview on Friday, and will be talking to another school about setting up an interview soon! 2 interviews already? How cool is my God?? How gracious is He?? I'm not going to say where they are or with which schools (just in case they don't work out;)) Those will be coming up soon!


Aside from teaching, I'm learning a lot about the different facets of my Savior, and how those apply to my weird phase that I'm in right now. I'm in a constant back-and-forth dialogue with myself about being okay with not knowing what my future holds, and being completely freaked out about not knowing. Growing up is such a strange thing! I want my desires to be what His are. I don't want to force anything, but I also realize that God gives us desires for a reason.


If you have any wise words for anything I've talked about, please comment or message me sometime! I love listening to people who have walked this road before me. I definitely know that I'm young and don't know everything. I want to be a sponge that is....teachable. ;)



Until next time!

The Semester of Lasts

Well, it has certainly been a long time since the last time I posted! I really kind of forgot all about this blog. However, I think I'm going to start it back up again because I want to keep track of my journey of my last semester at Cedarville, and my student teaching! For those who read this, now you can have updates on what's going on and can pray for me! I'll definitely need it.

Here is the background of my student teaching:

My spring semester last year I was placed at Cherry Hill Primary in a little town called Washington Court House about 40 minutes away from campus. I was placed with a second grade class and a teacher whose name is Mrs. Carter. We had such a great relationship! Not only did she share her class with me for a month, she taught me how to be a better teacher. She took me under her wing, as did the other women in our pod. Here's how Cherry Hill works: there are 8 second grade classrooms, and they are split in half. 4 teachers are considered one "pod," and the other 4 are another. The teachers in the pods work closely together and collaborate on a daily basis and have weekly meetings. The teachers who were in my pod last year are the same I am with now. Mrs. Meriweather, who is who I'm with currently, was right next door to Mrs. Carter and I. I got to know her pretty well, and she requested me for this year for my student teaching. How good is God?! So this summer, we were emailed and told that if we wanted to be placed somewhere specific for student teaching, we needed to let Cedarville know so they could start that process. Well, I may or may not have forgotten to do that. BUT, one day in July, I believe, I received an email from our placement lady that said I had been placed at Cherry Hill, in second grade, with Cyndi Meriweather. The Lord completely dropped it in my lap. I could get teary just thinking about it!


I was supposed to start my student teaching on Tuesday, but we had a snow day! I was kind of bummed, but also thankful because I really didn't sleep well Monday night. I've never been able to sleep very soundly the night before a new field experience starts. So it was a rather restless sleep. I was woken up around 5:45 am to my phone ringing. "Good morning, dear. This is Mrs. Meriweather. School is closed today!" My sweet mentor teacher called me. So no school! I used my extra day to pick up my roommate, Hannah, from the airport, clean out my desk, and just relax. Wednesday came, which brought a 2 hour delay. I could hardly contain my excitement as we (2 other Cedarville students are at Cherry Hill with me!) pulled into the parking lot. At about 11:00, the students started trickling in. It was SUCH a good day. I immediately started trying to memorize all the students' names and figure them out. Thursday we had ANOTHER snow day. I was pretty disappointed. It was hard getting all geared up for our first week, and then hardly be there! But I guess that we are being taught flexibility, which Mrs. Carter taught me is a HUGE part of being a teacher! Friday we had ANOTHER 2 hour delay, but at least I got to go! I have the students' names down, began planning for when I start teaching next week, and I got to do a read aloud with the kiddos!

I'm going to try to post here as much as possible for those who are wanting to keep up with my life at Cedarville and my student teaching! As things get busier...who knows that this will look like :) Hopefully once a week, at least.

I can't wait to see what the Lord teaches me this semester, and how He uses me! Please pray that I will be a willing vessel for Him, and that I am balanced with my life and that I don't get too stressed.

Until next time!