One of my favorite things to do is write my prayers down into a journal. I've been doing this since middle school. It started off as just keeping a diary, but somewhere in there, it turned into talking to the Lord in the midst of my writing. What I love even more than writing these prayers down and talking to Jesus (Which I mean, come on, getting to talk to the King of the Universe whenever I want? It's a huge deal. Don't ever let yourself get over that), is READING the prayers from the past. I have a few journals from college that I'll go back to every now and then and read. When these journals are read, when the tear-stained pages are opened back up, I see the Lord's FAITHFULNESS. Oh, it does something to my heart like nothing else does. Writing things down helps me to remember what was going on at that time, and I can see how the Lord has worked since then.
I tell you this because it's what I was doing this morning. After I got finished with praying today, I decided to look back on this time last year. And I wish I could tell you that I'm miles ahead of where I was last year and not struggling with the same stuff...but you know what I found? I wrote about the same things last July that I wrote about this morning. At first I thought, "Psh, wow, Ali. Way to go. You haven't grown at all." But the more I thought about it, and the more I flipped through the pages in between July 2015 and July 2016, I realized something: Even though I may have the same struggles as I did before, HE REMAINS FAITHFUL. I have made progress through His Spirit. The Lord does not "give up" on those who truly know Him. He is a God of second chances...more chances than any of us deserve. He doesn't say,"Well, you've been struggling with this sin or this issue for about a year now...so, I don't know how to help you any more." God is SO different than humans are. His patience abounds. He deals so graciously with a people who are very undeserving. (If you think you deserve God's patience, love, and grace, think again.) So I continued reading in my journal I've had since April of 2015. Memories, good and bad, began to flood my head--graduating from Cedarville, personal victories, personal failures, loved ones getting cancer, saying goodbyes, meeting new people, getting a job, vacations, situations with boys, my brother getting married, my second niece being born, hardships for my dad with work, Amanda Blackburn passing away, Hannah getting married, finishing my first year of teaching, ETC. Is it not crazy how your life changes? Sometimes it's quickly, and sometimes it's a slow-moving progression. Amidst the prayers I pray, I also write down Scripture that means a lot to me or quotes that stick out. I came across a page from September 9th, 2015. On it I had written out Ecclesiastes 3:1-15. I began to read the words and just started crying. My heart was overwhelmed with the Lord's goodness and His sovereignty. Here is what it says,
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.
I perceived that whatever God does ENDURES forever; NOTHING can be added to it, nor ANYTHING taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away."
I don't know what it was about this passage, but I couldn't help the tears. It comforted my soul beyond belief, especially with everything that's been going on in the world the past few weeks (Am I right??). Things are getting crazy, people. The outcomes are unsure. Some are turning to violence. Some are putting their hope in a candidate. Some are losing hope altogether. Oh, friends, do not lose hope!! Scripture tells us that all these things are going to happen. It tells us that life is not easy. But it also offers us HOPE and PEACE in Jesus Christ. If you have accepted Christ and made Him the Lord of your life, you have access to this hope and peace 24/7! He is your strength and your confidence!! You can trust Him. You can trust that "whatever God does endures forever." We don't have to live this life in fear and insecurity. Our father is SO GOOD, even if our definition of "good" is different than His. He knows undoubtedly what is best.
And if you don't know Him and are reading this today, will you please think about everything I'm saying? And by "know Him," I don't just mean knowing ABOUT Jesus. I mean having a relationship with Him, living in accordance with His Word, and seeking His face with ALL your heart. Will you evaluate your life and what your hope is placed in? My greatest desire, and our heavenly Father's, too, is that you come to know Him.
I feel like this post is a little all over the place, and for that, I apologize. I just was overtaken by the feeling that I needed to share. Over the past couple weeks, there have been multiple times that I have started writing, and it just doesn't come. I couldn't think of anything worthwhile. I hope you find this worthwhile. I hope that in the midst of everything you are going through, whether it's good or bad, in want or content, in pain or in happiness, that you look to Christ to be your hope; that you find your confidence in HIM, and can look at the things going on and take comfort in His name. He is our SHIELD. He is our STRENGTH. He is our COMFORT. He is TRUTH.
